IF THERE is no way you can abandon your day job and enter a more time-flexible employment field, how can you create more time to be with your children?
Counselling psychologist Rosemarie Voordouw offers the following tips:
If you must work at a full-time job, make sure to find one that can pay you what you need to survive on, and does not demand that you work longer than eight-hour days and leave your weekends free. Some jobs involve working 12 to 14 hours, leaving you tired, angry and without the time to pay attention to your relationship and children.
Seek jobs which allow time off to be at children's events.
Be courageous. Ask for the time off to attend to events such as your children's sports days. Offer to make up the time by working extra hours on another day.
When you work set hours, then organise your day into time slots to accomplish bonding. Having your devotions or just 'getting in touch' while travelling to and from school is a good idea.
You will need to create time for every child you have. Do not treat them as a package deal.
Sit with them. Watch their cartoons. Lie down with them to chat a little before going to bed. This is the time when their defences are down and they will tell you what's on their mind.
Avoid TV for younger children during the week. This will make it easier to find time to spend together.
Children also need order, especially those who are small. They should have their baths and go to bed at about the same time every day. With order, there will be less night time fighting and you will have time for yourselves afterwards.
Create rituals that all the family will enjoy. Bed time rituals are sacred and should not be 'put off' for any reason.
It is important for parents to make time for themselves too. On weekends, slot in time for yourself like an hour at the gym or several hours just sleeping. Put a 'don't disturb' sign on the door.
Outlook Team
