By Avia Ustanny, Outlook Writer
David Bain with daughters Giselle and Liya.
WHEN NICOLE Bain said 'I do' during her wedding in 1997, her vows, implicitly, included a bit more than the usual. Nicole had also committed herself to being a stay at home mom, with the responsibility for home schooling her children.
"The idea was not originally mine," Nicole admits. Her husband, David Bain, did research on the idea of home schooling and the couple discussed it extensively before they got married. Nicole agreed, she said, because "I also considered it a good thing to do for the children."
The Bains are halfway through their plan to have four children (with three-year-old Giselle and nine-month-old Liya), and Nicole is several months into the first year of home schooling three-year-old daughter Giselle.
By our calculations, if the couple have one child every two years, and if Nicola home schools each child until he or she is six years old, as she plans to do, the young mother will have committed herself to 12 more years of the family project.
Nicole, now aged 29, will be approximately 41 years old before she can work full-time again.
But, it is a sacrifice which she is apparently quite determined to make. Furthermore, she is definitely not interested in corporate climbing. Nicole, who graduated from the University of the West Indies with a first degree in English, could have "written her ticket" in any number of satisfying careers. But, she insists that all of that can wait.
"The first six years of a child's life are the most important," she insists. "I want her (Giselle) to learn about God first of all and thereby develop a good spiritual foundation."
The mother said that when Giselle eventually goes to school, she will come under all kinds of influences. In dealing with those which are negative, "she must be strong and firm in what she believes and able to stand up under pressure," she stated.
There is also the fact, Mrs. Bain said, that God has given each of us specific abilities special gifts which it is the responsibility of parents to discover and encourage, she added.
By no means easy
The project is by no means an easy one, she admits. When the decision was first implemented, it was one made based on trust, the mother said, as her husband's salary was not enough to cover their expenses when she started staying home. However, David Bain made the decision to go into business for himself, and that has made all the difference.
The couple also got off to a solid start with lots of support from friends and family who were 100 per cent behind their decision.
Much of the clothes that their daughters now wear are gifts from friends and relatives. They have also been given toys.
The Bains have also committed themselves to living 'within their means'.
"We have had to be satisfied with a much older vehicle than we would want," Nicole said, glancing towards an ancient white VW in their driveway. They also have to share the vehicle, deciding daily who should have it.
Entertainment is also curtailed. "We cannot just get up and decide to go to movies. We have to budget. Vacations also involve a great deal of scrimping."
The experience of home schooling has been a challenging one. The first week which began with great enthusiasm was fast followed by days of doubt when Giselle declared that she did not like school.
But, the young mother found more and more creative ways to engage her daughter's interest and now school is a great part of the day for them both.
Nicole uses the ABECA curriculum, designed by the Pensacola Christian College in Florida, which teaches children the fundamentals of learning readiness, and also introduces them to the world from God's perspective.
Letters, colours and shapes are integrated with lessons on animals, the environment and more. "They also have a very good Bible curriculum that I use as well," the mother says. Additionally, she has to adjust the curriculum to local culture and conditions.
Unlike the general schooling system, her daughter will receive her undivided attention. There is also no risk that she will be ignored in favour of those who are brightest. The mother also points out that there will be no need to play 'catch up' through extra lessons, as many in the public and private system have had to resort to. Her daughter will also not be the brunt of the competitiveness in classrooms which leads to great pressures to perform.
Outlook visited with Giselle in her colourful classroom where she was clearly at home (no pun intended).
Nicole can now smile at the memory of some of her friends who told her bluntly that they thought that she was wasting her life and who still say they are waiting for her to "get out of the house".
Giselle is learning and the results are paying off enough, she explains.
Inspired
Nicole is also inspired by the example of her mother in-law, who gained a Master's degree while staying at home and also wrote several books.
She admits that she was once concerned about age (re-entering the job market in middle age) but says "that is not an issue for me anymore. I can still enter the work force at age 40."
In the meantime, her social life is blooming. She has expanded her number of friends to include more people who are supportive of her outlook and is also part of a support group for mothers. Nicole has also taken up dancing and voice lessons. She dances with the Praise Academy of Dance, teaching there part time as well. She loves to read and does it when she can.
Now that David Bain has a more flexible work schedule running his own company he is looking forward to getting involved in the home schooling act as well. But, in the meantime, he says that his wife gets full marks as facilitator, teacher and mom.
