Tony Deyal Tony Deyal
TRINIDAD IS a place where funny business does not only happen on Frederick Street or in a calypso tent. It is evasive, pervasive, persistent and ubiquitous. It is everywhere, in our streets, our homes, our politics and our speech. Trinidad (as I am fond of saying) is the only country where elite is a shirt; the present participle of the verb 'to man' is the prime minister; the 24-hour period which should be dedicated to the celebration of the national instrument is the leader of the opposition; and Time is a foreign magazine.
This is not all. In fact, we are such a confused society that we mix up homophones (words that sound the same but are spelt differently) and homonyms (words that sound the same and are spelt the same but have different meanings) and create a morass, which is a word that is appropriate and totally consistent with the 'homo' theme. If one remembers the late and unlamented Iscott (Iron and Steel Company of Trinidad and Tobago), we made 'steel' and 'steal' the same commodity.
VARIATION
Take as well the word 'bus' that can be 'bus' as in a form of transportation unique to Trinidad where the population exists to maintain an inefficient and unpunctual government-owned service in a style to which it has become accustomed over the years; 'buss' as in bankrupt (e.g. Umbala business buss); buss as in torn or damaged (buss mouth); 'buss' as in paratharoti or 'buss-up' shirt; and 'buss' as a verb 'buss he head'. The variation that appeals to me most, however, is our invariable response to situations where we hold a temporary upper hand but in which, for the most part, we are victims rather than victors.
I call it the 'BTC' syndrome. What is that? Well, consider the ire of the lady living in Laventille or Harding Place when election time comes around and the Member of Parliament finally shows up. She BTCs on him but then what? Business as usual, votes in the bag, and back to square minus one or minus scratch.
You go to a downtown business place on Henry, Queen or Frederick Street and the store owner tries to cheat you. So you BTC on him but then you realise that choices are limited and you buy from him in any case. You go to your neighbourhood shop and you know you've been robbed, but because you need the credit the only thing you can do is BTC the shopkeeper.
'BUSS TWO CUSS'
In the market, the vendor gives you wrong change. In the street, somebody tries to attract your attention in a most inappropriate manner. In the bank, the teller snubs you for someone with more money. The answer in every case is that we resort to BTC. We 'buss two cuss' on the person concerned, get the catharsis or cleansing effect from it, and then back to business as usual. We are indeed a cuss-more-politan society. It is our first and last re-cuss. It is a fundamental part of the words discuss and concuss. When we spit out the words venomously it is mucuss.
The fact is that it doesn't work anymore if it ever worked at all. The problems we now face are way beyond BTC as either temporary respite or permanent cure. Take the case of dumb and DOMA (Downtown Merchants Association). The downtown merchants have their television cameras in place to catch crime but whenever you catch them, their executives are on the national television and media, pontificating on a wide variety of matters that do not include consumer protection from shoddy, irregular, cheap imports.
This has become the fabric of our society. I believe that they like television so much that they stand in the streets and their stores staring meaningfully at their own cameras and practising speeches on what the government should do about thieves while it is caveat emptor or let the buyer beware everywhere downtown, uptown and around town. They get the cuss-tomers they deserve.
Yet old habits die hard and even as I write complaining about our attitudes, I know that if someone bad drives me, or bad-mouths me, or does anything I don't like, from Panning to Manday, from Saith to Sat, from RBTT to KFC, my first response is BTC squared- 'Buss Two Cuss' and 'Bound to Cuss'. It is an ancient Trini right and cuss-tom.
