Tony Deyal
Tony Deyal
Red red wine
Stay close to me
Don't let me be alone
IF YOU spent all your money on wine, women and song, and the rest foolishly, there is hope for you yet particularly if the song is Neil Diamond's 'Red, red wine', the woman's name is Barbera, Syrah or Ruby, and the wine complements the song. I would have added "or vicey versa" but that is what probably got you broke in the first place, more vice and less advice.
GOOD NEWS
Now here is some good news that leads to better advice and the best of vices. Several prestigious journals and research institutions have postulated that red wine may hold the secret to a longer life. According to researchers at Harvard Univer-sity (quoted by Reuters), "Resveratrol, an ingredient found in abundance in red wine, has the same life-extending effect on fruit flies and worms as seve-rely restricting caloric intake has on monkeys."
According to the scientists, there are molecules found in all living creatures from bacteria to human beings called 'sirtuins' that are involved in the anti-ageing effects of calorie restriction. The one that works best is resveratrol, a substance which is highly concentrated in the skin of grapes.
HEALTH BENEFITS
According to the lead author of the study, David Sinclair of the Harvard Medical School, "When I realised it was a molecule from red wine, I almost fell out of my seat. This is the molecule people suspect is behind the health benefits of red wine. It's uncanny." Red wine is believed to be effective in lowering the risk of heart attacks, dementia and strokes, and a recent study by the National Heart and Lung Institute, based at the Imperial College London, discovered that resveratrol seemed to 'dampen down' the inflammatory process in the chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) which damages lung tissue.
What makes red wine so beneficial is that it uses a process that is completely different from white wine. Red wine combines grape juice, skins and extracts to get a red colour. The denser the concentration of chemicals in the grape, the deeper the red of the wine. Some of the red grape varieties include Zinfandel, Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Noir, Syrah, Sangiovese and Barbera.
ALTERNATIVE TO DIETING
While some people look forward to the promised day when you can pop a pill as an alternative to dieting and still enjoy the benefit of a healthier and longer life, I prefer to go straight to the source. Apart from Barbera and Syrah, Ruby is one of the colours of my favourite red wine, Port.
If, or when, the pill comes out, I will fall back on my hurricane defence and make assurance doubly sure by washing mine down with port. After all, it is a truism of navigational as of gastronomical lore that "any port in a storm". The problem is that it is not a helter-skelter run under full sail into the safe harbours of connosieurship. There are some tricky waters to navigate where dangerous undercurrents lurk.
MISLEADING
The vocabulary can be extremely misleading. Words like 'tart', 'hot', 'soft', 'smooth', 'ripe', 'robust', 'foxy' and 'full-bodied' are used, not only to describe women, but also wine. Some other wines are 'immature', 'superficial', 'lack finish', 'coarse', 'lack body', 'thin', 'hollow', 'funky' and 'bitter'. If the very essence of my being and full extent of my personality were to be captured in wine terminology, you would hear words like, 'harmonious assemblage', 'well-developed', 'brilliant', 'smooth', 'elegant', 'finesse', 'robust', 'pleasing', 'powerful', 'balanced', 'vigorous', 'penetrating' and 'appealing'.
Some of my detractors, less cultured and civilised, as rum in their behaviour as in their beverage choice, might prefer, 'over-the-hill', 'fat', 'heavy', 'overbalanced', 'overpowering', 'tired' and even 'disappointing' though never 'dull'. You might hear words like 'mouth', 'palate' and 'finish' referring to the taste, and 'nose' or the smell. The 'bouquet' has nothing to do with flora. It is the aroma from poured bottled wines.
There is even the 'abgang' or Australian for 'aftertaste'. If perchance you attend a wine-tasting and you overhear the phrase 'good head and condition', don't jump to the wrong conclusion believe that it is the euphoric aftermath of a sexual predilection, with the stress on the third syllable. Similarly 'a touch aggressive on the palate'.
MISINTERPRETED
Other phrases not to be misinterpreted include 'distinctive nose' and 'vigorous and well constructed'. My favourite is 'a trifle presumptuous perhaps' which, I believe, is what much of the stress on appropriate terminology is all about. At the root of it, wine is a gift of the gods, a miracle and blessing, regardless of region or religion.
My favourite wine story is about a car driver stopped by a policeman for possible drunken driving. The policeman looked into the car and noticed that the driver was a priest. He also observed an empty bottle on the floor. He asked the driver, "What is, or should I say was in this bottle?"
The driver answered, "Water!" The policeman declared adamantly, "It is not water. It is wine." The driver looked up to the heavens, rushed out of the car, got on his knees and said fervently, "Oh Lord, you have done it again!"
Tony Deyal was last seen warning aspiring wine drinkers not to "blush" if they overhear, "Check out the legs on that Blue Nun", "I kept Sherry on the rack in my cellar", "Stick your nose all the way in" and "Let it glide across your tongue."
