Marion Scott, Contributor AMID THE plethora of brands, shapes and colours, the condom has very important uses. Its primary function is preventing the spread of HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Condoms are also very useful in preventing unwanted pregnancies. With both these very important uses, why wouldn't anybody want to use condoms? There are a few challenges which do deserve acknowledgement.
A big concern is introducing the condom without offending the other person. The issue of trust may cause many to compromise their decision to use a condom. You don't want your partner to be insecure or feel that you are not trustworthy. For a woman, her fear may be in seeming promiscuous just because she has her own condom stash. Others complain that it is inconvenient and a mood killer - for them the condom is boring and clinical.
THE SOLUTION
Now that we have identified the problem, let's work on the solution.
Bring up the subject lightly. Tell a joke about novelty condoms, sex, or even sex toys whatever fits your game in order to break the ice. Then move on to a more serious topic, like how serious the HIV/AIDS epidemic is and why you can never be too careful. That way, your partner won't think it's anything personal. If you are not very talkative, just hand a condom to your partner and give him or her a knowing smile. Or, try the direct approach just put on the condom, no questions asked. The awkwardness will wear off when the fun begins.
LOCATION
So we have decided to use the condom. What's next? Location, location, location. Ensure that condoms are conveniently placed. Keep them close. Just imagine that you are in the heat of the moment, saying to yourself, "I know I bought them but where the heck did I put them?" then trying to retrace your steps. Don't go running to the store at the last minute. Talk about a mood killer. Ladies, having your own condom is the wise thing to do, but like so many other things you do, traditional society is just not ready for that yet. In any case, carry your own as a back-up. He doesn't have to know that you are carrying them unless it's necessary and in that event he will be too happy to wonder about anything.
SEX IS TEAMWORK
If you feel comfortable enough with the guy, go ahead and initiate putting on the condom. Men often act like they don't need help but women can often sense when they do. He may be even more nervous than you are. A little encouragement could go a long way. Sex requires teamwork. Do your part to reach the championship, gather all your gear and get into the game.
Condoms now come in so many varieties, how could one ever get bored? You can spice things up with some cinnamon, or maybe strawberry and pineapple are more to your taste. Add a little excitement. Condoms can be used as a method for foreplay. Fruity smells and bright colours may be enticing, not to mention those glow-in-the-dark varieties.
What is important is that condoms are put on and used properly. This intensifies sensitivity, increases pleasure and prevents breakage. Most of the complaints about condoms come from those who are not using them correctly. Read the instructions on the package carefully and follow each step.
Marion Scott works with the National AIDS Programme at the Ministry of Health.
