Tony DeyalTony Deyal
I LOVE the way Barbadians pronounce the word commonly used to denote an institution for the treatment of illness. They say, horse-spittle. I suppose one can dismiss the business of horse racing in a similar salivary fashion, the Barbadian Gold Cup notwithstanding, which is what some horses do in the starting box and lose their chances and our money. Not-with-running might be better but that depends on the ground conditions.
A Trinidadian friend once advised me that I should put all my money on a particular horse, but only if rain fell, since the horse was a mudder. I got over my initial confusion asking him if he meant a mare or a horse that had recently thrown (the term used by those in the business) a foal, which is like non-severe laryngitis, a little horse. A long time ago I had been quite upset to hear the divine act of procreation described by the use of a violent word like throwing. I was almost as perturbed, in fact, as Australians encountering Muralitharan or Shoaib Akhtar, or Bobby Simpson worrying about the pace of Charlie Griffith while backing away towards square leg.
HIGHLY COMPETITIVE NATURE
I wondered about the wisdom of allowing an animal that had so recently experienced motherhood engaging in extremely strenuous activity of a highly competitive nature, particularly one involving whips and leather. In addition to subjecting the poor female to risk of injury, the effect on the offspring could amount to corrupting the morals of a juvenile, the category in which the little horse would make its debut in the competitive arena. On a bone dry day, the heavens opened up, and a deluge ensued. Remembering the advice of my friend, I put all my money on his mudder. Then when it came in last, riderless and with its saddle slipping precariously to one side, I realised why that term was used to describe the horse. Everyone who had bet on it, including me, looked at the horse and said, "You mudder you" or words to that effect. What I did not know at the time was that the owner was walking along the road leading the same horse. A passer-by asked him, "What are you going to do with that horse?" The owner replied, "Race it." The passer-by responded encouragingly, "Judging by the looks of your horse, I am sure you will win."
A long time ago, Lord Macaulay, the historian, commenting on the ban placed on the sport of bear-baiting by the Puritans explained, "The Puritans hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear but because it gave pleasure to the spectators." I suppose this is why horse-racing has not made as serious an impact on the economy of the Caribbean as it has in the United States in places like Louisville, Kentucky, famous for its Derby and chicken, and in England in towns like Epsom, which is as famous for its Derby as for its salts.
HORSE RACING INDUSTRY
In Trinidad, the attempt to create a sustainable horse-racing industry has never got off the ground. In the steeplechase of success, horse-racing has been so badly handicapped that it has tended to be more on its knees than on its hooves. Jamaica fares better but still has not developed into anything approaching its potential as a revenue earner and employer. Barbados is not any better. In those countries, as well as in the rest of the region, there are racing pools which generate excessive liquidity for the owners but which hire only a few unskilled persons and a single, solitary creative accountant. As for the punters, what they get out of it is characterised by the name of a particular racing pool in Trinidad Goodwood.
Horses are not everyone's cup-of-tea, animal-of-choice, passion or predilection. For instance, there was this young lady who decided to try horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. One psychologist explained it in terms of having a great, big beast between your thighs and knowing that it is socially acceptable. She got up on the horse unassisted and it immediately sprang, galloping at a steady and rhythmic pace. The young lady began to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabbed the horse's mane, but just could not maintain a firm grip. She tried to hang on to the horse's neck, but she slid down the side of the horse. The horse galloped along, totally impervious to the plight of its rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the young woman leapt from the horse, trying to throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot became entangled in the stirrup, leaving her at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves. Her head was being battered against the ground and the young lady was mere moments away from unconsciousness when, to her undying gratitude, the amusement park attendant pressed the button and shut the horse off.
'HOUSES BEFORE HORSES'
A few years ago, the Government of Trinidad and Tobago, tried to shoot the industry down without actually shutting off the horses. A new central facility was being built at a horrendously high cost and the new Prime Minister, George Chambers, who had succeeded Dr. Eric Williams, came up with the telling phrase, "Houses before horses". The fact is that the houses never happened and the horses got a setback in training. The problem was conceptual. In a stable political environment, houses and horses are not mutually exclusive. In fact, a solid and substantial horse-racing industry can inject resources into the economy that would allow for more houses and jobs. Ailing economies could be resurrected or barn again. The only problem is the impact of gambling on the individual and society. Even though most countries allow casinos and lotteries, there is still a moral in the story of the chronic horse player who paused before taking his place at the betting windows, and offered up a fervent prayer to his Maker. "Blessed Lord," he muttered with intense sincerity, "I know you don't approve of my gambling, but this once, Lord, just this once, please let me break even. I need the money so badly."
Tony Deyal was last seen at The Garrison asking what is the most opportune time of the day to get the best odds on a horse. It is 12:31 or 29 to 1.
