By Dennie Quill, ContributorAS I listened to BBC radio earlier this week, I was distressed to hear about the travails of a young British woman who at age 15 had refused an arranged marriage by her Pakistani parents. She was pilloried by her family and became an outcast for choosing an alternative path.
The phenomenon of so-called honour killings has been receiving renewed media attention in recent times, in the face of reports that this brand of violence against women is growing around the world. Essentially, this is murder of a female relative for perceived sexual misconduct, but could be triggered by something as trivial as a dream that a wife has been unfaithful.
Women can be killed if they indulge in pre-martial sex, extra-martial sex, flirtation, are victims of rape, refuse an arranged marriage or attempt divorce.
In the BBC report, the survivor who had the courage to run away from home at age 15, feared better than her sister who eventually committed suicide after she married the abusive husband her parents had chosen for her.
A passionate teenager who dreamt of attending university and making something of her life, she told her parents of her aspirations, but they would have none of it. Instead they went ahead making wedding plans and as they sensed her opposition, she was assigned bodyguards. She pretended to go along with the idea, while plotting her escape.
After living in a motorcar and fighting for her daily survival, she eventually married her boyfriend and attended university. She was never truly reconciled with her parents even though she made many attempts. Whenever she met with them it was a stealthy affair because they still had not forgiven her. Perhaps the greatest triumph for her was to see her graduation photograph hung besides her father's bed. She was the only one of her family who had been to university.
EXTREME HAPPENINGS
These extreme happenings which are typical in the Muslim culture had me thinking about how much freedom we enjoy in our part of the world. But hold the applause please, because although our women are free to have liaisons of their choosing, the degree of violence being experienced by Jamaica women leaves us with very little to celebrate.
Killing of our women, whether identified as acts of criminality or crimes of passion, has become all too commonplace.
We have a history of violence and it is manifested in the way we are socialised. Consider this, a man is walking along the street and he sees a friend. The greeting is likely to take the form of a huge slap on the back and few well-chosen expletives and loud laughter. Yes, that's how we do it. And the abuse of children and women are part of the package.
Jamaica is experiencing a high level of domestic violence and it cuts across all social classes. Don't be fooled by the nattily dressed lawyers you see strutting their stuff along the corridors of the Supreme Court. Many of them are battering their wives, and doctors too have been known to slam their fists in their wives faces. The wife beaters can be found in impressive officers and at the communion table.
But what are we going to do about domestic violence? For one, the police are not really serious about prosecuting this crime. They regard it as 'man and woman' business. And when the man kills his wife, and is found guilty, society begs for a lenient sentence.
So could we begin by making rape punishable by death? Not that we are about to hang anyone. However, we could make their lives miserable and send a signal that domestic violence will no longer be treated as a soft crime. We have talked a lot about domestic violence we need to move to action.
Dennie Quill is a veteran journalist.
