CONTRARY TO the stereotype that men only have sex on their minds, some men are actually reluctant to venture into a relationship. They, like women, have to decide when they are ready. The decision for them is not as easy as women would like to think. I do agree that many men, who seem to be in the majority, merely see a woman they deem to be 'gorgeous', start to make advances, get into a relationship with her, and before you can say "Johnny Bravo" they want to have sex with her.
The reality, nonetheless, is that there are men who actually think it through before saying a mere 'hello' to a female. But why is it that we stigmatise them as being 'sissy', 'man-to', 'mama man' and, sadly, even the extreme 'chi-chi', just because they are thinking with their heads?
Nothing is wrong with a man who cries for 'time out'. If he's being pressured and thinks he can't handle the responsibility of a relationship, why should he not cry for leave? The female would, wouldn't she? I opt to say that men who cry for time out are those who are actually strong, contrary to the popular belief that they are 'saafas'.
Despite what many other Jamaicans would say, I think we are blessed to have men who make sure they are ready before getting involved in a relationship. In addition to the fact that it shows strength of character and will power, let's look at the positive implications that this has for females.
Since these men do not want to rush into a relationship, it means that when they do, their partners can feel rest assured that they are really wanted by these men. In addition, the women do not feel pressured to commit themselves because they are no longer being told that they should "stop putting a time factor on the relationship," as the men themselves are in no haste.
FEWER FEMALES
HEART-BROKEN
Finally, fewer females would be left heart-broken because men would be ready for a commitment when they finally get into a relationship.
We do not stereotype women who say they are not ready, therefore we should not do so to men. Females can become mentally and emotionally traumatised by getting involved in sex and relationships and, news flash, men can too. Thus, if females must not rush it, males must not either.
Shaneka Henry
