'Don't expect to
be waited on hand
and foot..'
This Yuletide season if you're
visiting relatives or friends for a day or two, follow these rules to ensure peace on earth -- or at least under the roof of your host.
1: Do not overstay your welcome.
To begin (we are assuming that you have been invited), confirm the length of your stay with your host -- arrival and departure dates.
In general, a three-day visit is long enough, unless you're staying with blood relatives or travelling from a great distance.
2: Stick to your dates.
Arrive when you say you will. Barring a tragedy, do not leisurely drive up at 6:00 p.m. when you promised to be there by 10:00 a.m. Your host is likely arranging meals and her busy schedule around you. If you find that you're running behind, make a phone call. With the proliferation of cell phones, there is no excuse not to -- even if you're on the road.
3: Do not arrive
with your two
long arms -- go
bearing gifts.
Never show up empty-handed. You may not be able to afford to buy a present for everyone in the household, but at least bring a token of your appreciation -- a bottle of wine, plants, a gift basket. If they have children, a toy, book or item of clothing would be fitting.
4: Do not expect your host to be
your entertainment coordinator.
Bring a book or go sightseeing, but give your hosts some space. They would love an hour to wrap gifts, do their chores, or just recharge. However, if they've organised an outing to see carollers, Christmas lights or something else they mistakenly believed you'd be interested in, get jolly and go.
5: Do not be a slob.
In your own house, you may leave the wet towels on the bed, throw your clothes on the floor and leave half empty cups of coffee around the house. However, remember, you're not in your own house, so cease and desist while you're under someone else's roof.
Make up the bed, clean up after yourself and keep things neat and tidy.
6: Pitch in and help your guest.
No need to play Molly Maid, but a good guest will offer to wash a dish or two. Don't just ask if there's anything you can do, volunteer to do a specific task, such as vacuuming the living room.
7: Accept thy host's pets and children even if they are unruly.
The kids and animals live here. You are merely passing through. Yes, the dog is sniffing you again and has breath that would peel paint. No, children shouldn't pick their noses while maintaining relentless eye contact with dinner guests. Still, a good guest pronounces the small ones cute. Then do not wonder aloud if corporal punishment deserves a revival.
8: Be considerate pick up a tab or two.
You're staying for free, so treat your hosts
to dinner or brunch, or buy the ingredients
and make them a special breakfast. If you're staying for an extended period, pitch in with the groceries.
9: Be gracious in your farewells even if your visit was hell.
So the kids were always bickering, the host and hostess almost came to blows and the dog chewed your shoe. Still, say your goodbyes with a smile pasted on your face, express
gratitude for being allowed to stay and never use the situation to throw words or for gossip. Just get over it.
10: Send a
thank-you card.
Within two weeks of leaving, send a thank- you card or letter. It needn'tt be long, just point to the positives. For an added touch, enclose a photo from your visit.
