This is the first part of a series.
FOR A long time, December 24 was a difficult time for 26-year-old Gary.
While other people are celebrating Christmas Eve, Gary, who was born on this day, sometimes ponders what might have been.
On this day, his mind travels back to nearly six years ago on another Christmas Eve when he was gearing up for a milestone birthday his 21st birthday and instead lived through what he described as one of his worst experiences.
Unaware that she was pregnant, Gary's then girlfriend accepted the measles, mumps, rubella (MMR) vaccine and was advised to abort the 10-week-old foetus. Health professionals feared the effects of the vaccine on the foetus. These included fears that the baby could be born with abnormalities and that there would be increased complications during pregnancy.
PAINFUL DECISION
"My girlfriend opted to take the abortion. I decided to support her decision though it was a very painful one. That day (my birthday) was decision day. It was my girlfriend's appointment at the doctor to conduct an abortion," he recalled.
For Gary, the worst moments came after the procedure was performed.
"The evening following the abortion, guilt started to seep in. I felt as if I had taken part in a murder. My life would then change. For months I did not pray to God. I felt I could not face him again and for a while my relationship seemed steady but six months later it was over. I felt lost," Gary related last week.
Gary is not alone. In fact,
several websites indicate that some men hurt too when they are told of the abortion by the partner, either before or after it happens, or after they discover that it was done.
DEPRESSION
Like women who have abortions, men affected by abortion may experience depression, guilt, anger, grief, and feelings of powerlessness, outlined the deVeber Institute for Bioethics and Social Research, in its 2002 publication, "Women's Health after Abortion: The Medical and Psychological Evidence." Men may also engage in risky behaviour such as drinking alcohol 'to dull the pain' and may have problems trusting partners in future relationships, it said.
"For a while, I blocked out my situation by living a high-paced life, losing myself in work and parties," Gary said.
SELF-DESTRUCTION
But while his behaviour did not lead to self-destruction, Gary said there have been consequences.
"As the months went by, I struggled to find the spiritual path I had walked on for years and although I'm in communication with God again, I have never been able to retrieve that connection with God I had before the abortion," he said.
(Name changed on request).
Part II continues tomorrow in Your Health.
