Sidney McGill
ALTHOUGH SPRING is here, the cold weather of New York is trying to fool a tropical guy like me that winter is a permanent climatic feature of North America. Perhaps that's a good thing because the wintriness forces me to slow down, recognise that my engine is in need of repair and refuel.
Maybe the mileage on your vehicle is extremely high too, but that should not be an issue if the vehicle is well maintained and it gets you to your destination trouble free and in style. How something looks is the first clue we have of its general condition but as we know with cars and with sexual partners who are HIV-positive, this is not always true.
Nevertheless vehicle maintenance is more than engine maintenance. A good body job gets the second stare. Healthy looking skin, pearly white teeth, clear eyes that tell no tale of depression, drug use or stress, and how you put yourself together are important signs of sexual attractiveness. Your clothes speak volumes about your personality, and the condition of your shoes can infer how organised or meticulous you are.
Vitality, an important sexual turn-on is an expression of how well tuned your physical and psychological systems are. Regular exercise, deep breathing, relaxation, daily intake of high-fibre foods along with supplements are important ways of fine-tuning your physical system.
THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING
A general sense of optimism always looking at the brighter side of life avoiding loud and aggressive persons that infect you with unnecessary anxiety, improving your ability to effectively solve problems (instead of procrastinating) and managing anger are cardinal ways of improving your mental state, which impacts your physical health. A person's general health and personal hygiene, a common sense about fashion, and even the quality of cologne you wear, determine to a large degree your sexual attractiveness.
The outward signs of sexual attractiveness though important are only the icing and sprinkles on the outside of the cake. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. Our self-identity is the most compelling form of our sexuality. In other words sexual attractiveness is directly proportionate to how good you think and feel about yourself. Your self-confidence and certainty about your future exponentially increase your sexual attractiveness.
If you are depressed or constantly negative you attract moths instead of butterflies. And even the number of moths that stay around will dwindle over time as your light dims because of persistent negativity. Moths are people who are emotionally needy themselves and who are seeking for relationships that are non-threatening. They can't stand light that is too intense or generates too much heat because they are too sensitive. They are takers more than givers.
My advice to you is to avoid moths and force yourself to find butterflies. Butterflies are sexually attractive people who are generally full of optimism, joyfulness, faithfulness, givers instead of takers, and are emotionally and physically healthy. You tend to find them wherever help is needed churches, service organisations, hospitals and schools.
Dr. Sidney McGill is a marriage and family therapist and executive director of Family Counselling Centre of Jamaica, St. Ann; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com.
