Wendel Abel
THIS ARTICLE is intended for you or someone who may be going through tough and rough times.
Has life not met up to its expectations for you? Are you hurting because your relationship or marriage is falling apart? Are you experiencing financial difficulties and are you unable to see yourself through? Are you having problems on the job with your colleagues or your boss?
Is that relationship with a best friend or a family member strained? Have you retired and you are finding it difficult to cope? Have you returned home and are having difficulty adjusting?
Take courage my friend, this article is for you.
1. Put your trust and faith in that higher power. When life around us seems to be falling apart, when hope seems to be failing and faltering, it's in moments like these that you need to reach out to that higher power. Your unshakeable faith will sustain you. Hope can be restored.
2. Express your feelings. Remember it is normal to feel angry, depressed, frustrated and anxious during these moments. If someone has offended you or done you some wrong, call them or send them a note and express to them how you feel. In that conversation or in that note just focus on expressing your feelings. Do not attack the person. Do not curse, just express your feelings. Remember you have a right to your feelings and you have a right to express them. Do not bottle up your feelings. Express your feelings. By doing so, you will be better able to put things into perspective.
3. Reach out to your friends. Find someone in whom you can confide. Share your difficulties.
4. Call upon your inner strength. Yes surprisingly we all have inner resources and strengths. Whenever the going gets tough, the tough has got to get going. Do not give up. Pause, think and work through you difficulties and exercise your options.
5. Find solutions. Every dark cloud has its silver lining. It may not be easy to focus and solve all the things that may be going wrong in your life at this time. Grab a piece of paper and start working out alternatives. Every problem has a solution. Do not allow yourself to wallow in pain and self pity. Move on.
6. Accept your powerlessness. This is not to say we must become powerless. There are some situations over which we do not have control, and instead of sitting around and wasting time over them, accept your powerlessness and try to move on. Remember the prayer of serenity God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
7. Remember to love yourself and find your centre. Do not beat upon yourself today. Remember you are number one. You have got to take care of yourself. Despite the challenges and the tough going, find time to pamper yourself. Take care of you.
8. Re-establish routine in your life. When things have fallen apart we sometimes find ourselves sitting alone in despair. However difficult it may be, start to establish routine in your life again. Start calling your friends. Start going out. Start going to church. Take up a hobby or some recreational activity. Start exercising. But get up and get out and start living again.
9. Forgive. This is a difficult one, especially when the wounds are still fresh. Try to forgive and move on. It helps in the healing process.
Dr. Wendel Abel is a consultant psychiatrist and senior lecturer, University of the West Indies; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com.
