Sidney McGill
THE USE of imagination can be a big turn-on for many. Last week we looked at creating variety in your sexual experiences through acting out some of your harmless, sexual fantasies. This week we will look at ways to stimulate more of your senses to heighten the pleasure of sexual play and increase the intensity of the orgasm.
EROTIC LOCATIONS, SCENTS & SOUNDS
Having sex on the same bed in the same location using the same positions will cause chronic boredom. Note the key word here is 'same'. To ensure that the sexual fun bar stays high, change locations and sex positions on a regular basis. For starters, you may want to have sex in another room other than your bedroom. Places such as the laundry room, kitchen, bathroom, guest room or even a carpeted floor are good enough places. If no one else is at home then the living room with a three seater is an excellent option. Wherever you choose, you should make sure that the space is cool and dimly lit.
OK, so you have agreed that change in scenery could help your sexstyle, but there is more. You can heighten the experience by changing the scents in the room as well. Light a scented candle or two prior to your sexual exchanges to increase your olfactory stimulation. If you are into high -tech gadgets you may want to try one of a number of scented gadgets that emit different scents every 30 minutes to prevent your nose from getting bored. They come in a variety of intensity settings such as low, medium and high. You adjust the intensity to suit the size of the room and the amount of scent you want.
TRY SOME MUSIC
Music is well known for setting the mood for love making. Look for the style of music you and your partner enjoy. There are many R&B songs out there such as: "I'm a Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears. This song is overtly sexual and can definitely set the mood with a thumping beat, whispered vocals, and a female breathing in the background. "I'll Make Love to You" by Boyz II Men. The sensual lyrics are ably handled by Boyz II Men's beautifully- blended voices. This kind of music can set the tone for a very passionate experience. For those (like me) who enjoy classical music and jazz, consider classical music from the romantic era, modern film sound tracks or jazz albums with varying tempos.
While you are finding new ways of adding spice to your sex lives by changing locations, scents and sounds there is a principle that you should always follow: always reserve your bed for sleep and sex. If you are accustomed to eating in bed and watching TV before going off to sleep, do so on the couch or a soft chair instead - better still in the living or family room. Treat the matrimonial bed with the reverence it deserves because it is a special and private place. It should be big and comfortable enough for free and easy movements.
Dr. Sidney McGill is a marriage and family therapist and executive director of Family Counselling Centre of Jamaica, St. Ann; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com.
