Amina Blackwood Meeks
MISS LADY is very proud of Likkle Miss Jing Bang. She do har best to catch up on de opportunities she miss out on due to de financial constraints in her
family. So she send herself to evening school an get her subjects an Miss Lady was very happy to accept de invitation to har graduation. And Jing Bang was equally happy dat Miss Lady come to see har in her role as valedictorian.
Miss Lady sey JB was a model of decorum till somebody get up to introduce de guest speaker. She only see JB start cross up de valedictory speech she had so carefully crafted an she start wonder to herself if she change har mind an decide not to dweet again for Jing Bang is not given to cold feet so is cudden dat ketch har. Lo and behold, nuh wan brand new speech de chile siddung right deh-so an compose. Hell pop when she get de microphone. She call de new speech "Social-lies-ing."
Jing Bang let it be known dat she didn't really care how dem spell it, for fe dem spelling sometimes have a way of disguising what dem really mean. When she spell it how dem teach har to spell, which is to break down de word into syllables she come to de conclusion dat what is wrong with Jamaica is de process of social-lies-ation, which is to say, ladies and
gentlemen, dat dem raise we and we continue to raise weself pan a whole heap of tings what do not go so. Den she cite as de for example, de introduction of the guest speaker. Why, Jing Bang wanted to know, did de smaddy who introduce him had was to say him was a man of humble beginnings?
ARROGANT BEGINNINGS
What exactly dat suppose to mean? For she never hear dem introduce anybody yet as a person from arrogant beginnings. What dem mean to convey? She sey she tink dat some people secretly shock fe see sey smaddy who born widout money turn out to not ever consider demself poor an refuse to be subservient and self-effacing.
Miss Lady sey har head swell when Jing Bang pop de big wud pan dem. An she get up an clap when she realise sey Jing Bang jus edicate dem into de fundamental distinction between not having money and being poor. For she know within har heart of hearts dat de number one problem with Jamaica is de amount of pauperise people who a ruin de place with de whole heap of money what dem have. Parading in de media as rulers of nuff empire but vote gains minimum wage an de minimum wage earner now haffe call dem Sir and Ma'am on account of de social-lies-ation dat nuff money mean nuff character an no money mean de opposite.
Well, Jing Bang could not did know what Miss Lady was tinking but when she see har get up an clap she shape up herself an wax some more, man. She
example sey de first cocktail party she go to, was de last cocktail party she go to. For she used to tink dat people who fraternising dem tails togedda at least have likkle basic respeck fe dem wan anedda even if dem is not bosom buddies. Imagine har shock when she buck up into a conversation where two smaddy a pint out a tird smaddy sey from she arrive she doan leave de table wit de shrimps an dip an dem wondering if she doan buy shrimps at har yard.
WUTLISSNISS
What a piece of wutlissniss. For ascordin to JB de people dem who provide de shrimps want it to be eaten, who tell de two chatterbox dem sey dem nuffe partake? Jing Bang sey she glad she was a vegetarian, for you could imagine if it was she who was eating out de shrimps. You wudda hear more talk bout how shrimps don't swim down to humble beginnings an how happy dem was dat dem could expose har to such high class gastronomic experience.
Furdermore, dem gooda sey she put shrimps inna har handbag an pronounce utterances bout how "dose people gawaan when dem see food". But she sey she leff dat deh cocktail party very bewildered bout what certain people mean when dem talk bout de need fe unity into Jamaica, if is just annada of de nice social-lies fe tell but into yu personal life yu nuh haffe do nutten bout it.
She sey dem is de same kinda people who love talk how smaddy could walk with Kings and still have de common touch an talk it like sey is a accolade. Jing Bang ask de audience fe shut dem eye an den she tip-toe round an touch dem an when dem open back dem eye now she ask dem which one of dem was touched by Prince Charles an nobaddy never know.
Dat mean sey Prince Charles touch nuh feel nuh different from fe har own, an people who love talk bout Prince and King and common touch meck it dem bounden duty fe social-lies people into maintaining some likkle artificial an superficial boundaries between people. And Jing Bang meck a challenge to all who was dere gaddered fe de whole country fe stop raise part a de population to be hewers of wood an drawers of water an de adda half fe go watch who eat how much shrimps a cocktail party.
She sey har madda sey har granny use to sey dat lie keep good company with teef an adda forms of criminality an she conclude dat what is true of de private lies must be even more true of the social-lies. Dat can cause people to do unmentionable tings. At least ah deh so it start. Bob Marley did feel like bombing a church when certain lies were revealed unto him. Selah.
