Sidney McGill
IN OUR last article, we looked at the conniving whore who was not satisfied in projecting her anger only on her child, but even on the other baby that did not belong to her. She was infected by the 'crab in the barrel syndrome' that oozed a self-hatred and selfishness that says, "If I can't have a 'good' child then you should neither." [1 Kings 3:25-26].
This week we will look in more detail at the significance of the womb to nation building and our responsibility toward providing physical and psychological safety to girls in order to stymie teenage pregnancy and the resultant neglect of boys that breeds senseless violence and other social ills, now affecting the country.
In verse 26, the psychologically healthier woman was moved with compassion and pleaded that no harm should come to her child. The Hebrew word for compassion 'rahmim' provides the key word for our understanding of the importance of women's wombs. Not only does the word rahmim connotes a state of being compassionate, but in the singular form means 'womb' or 'uterus'.
Can you see the natural movement from the womb of the woman as she nourishes and protects her unborn child to the psychic mode of being where she gives greater psychological nurturance (compassion, mercy and love) at birth and throughout her child's childhood years? If every mother had the benefits of psychological nurturance and physical safety during childhood, then naturally they would be far more protective of their own bodies and the children they bear.
ABUSED WOMEN PRODUCE ABUSED CHILDREN
Perhaps the woman who killed her child by neglect was sexually abused and started bearing children too early. Her children had no choice but to endure her wrath and neglect throughout their innocent childhood years. Imagine the results of her parenting skill (or the lack of it).
It is a simple equation: Abused parents produce abused children. Abused children more likely than not become abusers themselves. And some strive to become gang members and, through their violent exploits they battle shame by struggling against the hopelessness of their existence.
OUR RESPONSIBILITY
But did they have to become hardened criminals? In many cases these criminals could have been saved from becoming harsh, ruthless gunmen or rapists. They could have become hardworking, caring good men if someone has been a caring parent for another person's needy child or ensure that girls are not left alone with irresponsible men who are not their biological fathers. Sure, it would cost caring people their time, pull them out of their comfort zone and slow your race towards financial freedom, but think of the rewards of reshaping Jamaica into a peaceable place again.
The results would be a prosperous economy and united people with a vision of a better Jamaica. It is not too late to start protecting little girls' sexualities. Start by becoming more community conscious or by making the effort to know your neighbours. Think seriously about adopting if it is the best solution toward saving a child.
If you have missed out on the chance to be a village helper or your situation does not allow you to devote a part of your life to this end, there are other ways to get the job done. Assist, for example, non-governmental organisations (NGOs) such as the Family Counselling Centre of Jamaica - to help boys aged 11-14 years in high schools across Jamaica find a renewed sense of purpose and self-worth through the CSALT Mentoring Project. Check out other preventative opportunities for girls who are struggling with identity and self-esteem issues and teach them to develop their intellect, inner beauty and independence.
Dr. Sidney McGill is a marriage and family therapist and executive director at Family Counselling Centre of Jamaica, St. Ann; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com.
