Garth Rattray
THE PICTURE that most of us have of a male mouse is one of a tenacious but cowardly little musky-smelling grey rodent that scurries around, mostly in the dark, running from hole to hole all the time toting a disproportionately large scrotal sac which is approximately half the size of the mouse's skull (it's there to ensure that the mouse procreates as much as possible). It appears sneaky as it forages around and has the uncanny ability of squeezing its way into the tiniest of spaces to access food and lodgings. The common mouse is from the genus mus and species musculus. Now you know why we here in Jamaica have always referred to them as mus-mus.
SOCIAL AND TERRITORIAL
Mice are both social and territorial. Males and females delineate their territory and defend it against others of the same sex. Some males have several females living within his territory and he visits them all at will. If per chance a male mouse has only one female, he not only gets along extremely well with her but he also helps out with the babies. This is easily observed in captive mice and it is assumed that all mice behave similarly. If male mice happen to be born and grow up together, they may get along, however, it is far more natural for them to threaten, fight and even kill each other.
This brings us to the age-old question, man or mouse? It was originally intended to ask whether or not someone is brave, but now I wonder if perhaps it could also be asking whether or not some of our men share similarities with rodents. Certainly, some of our males could learn a thing or two from the mice when it comes to helping with the babies and getting along with the mother. Many of our men are cowards; they are afraid of boredom, afraid of commitment and afraid of responsibility. Consequently, they scurry around, mostly in the dark, running from' (well, you can read the rest in the opening paragraph).
My sister has several times gently chided me for not writing more positive things about the fathers around Father's Day. I can sense her strong objection to my negativism regarding our irresponsible men, but she is a trained counselling psychologist and an educator so she employs a soft approach to her reproach. I have tried to be more positive around this time but then I see so many people who have been cheated out of a decent life because of wayward men whose sole role seems to be sperm donors. I see innumerable patients who have absolutely no idea about their genetic predispositions to certain (potentially deadly) diseases because their so-called fathers are nowhere to be found.
A stable family nucleus lends itself to a stable and peaceful nation. Some have been blaming slavery for the unstable family unit and others blame work opportunities far from the home. Whatever the reason, we have a history of dysfunctional families and now we have a dysfunctional nation wracked by violence and murder. The lack of a stable family unit has led many youths to the 'family' of the gang and the 'father figure' of the don. We are all now reaping the legacy of the errant fatherhood so prevalent in our society.
MOTHERS ARE NOT FATHERS
Try as they might, mothers can never be fathers. Most mothers can and do (perforce) make fantastic single parents. For the most part, they are on their own when it comes to raising their children. Many of our men simply move on to other females in order to fulfil amorous urges. And so the children (especially males) are denied the positive male influence so important for their proper development.
I salute the decedent and responsible fathers among us. They deserve special commendations because they constitute a rare breed. With all the territorial (tribal) fighting going on, with all the utterly cowardly acts of killings every day, with all the aggression, with all the womanising and poor parenting, I have to ask those young rogues out there, are you man or mouse?
Dr Garth A. Rattray is a medical doctor with a family practice.
