Glenda Simms, Contributor
IN THE science section of the May 2005 edition of the New York Times, writer Dinitia Smith reported on the current discussion on the logic of the female orgasm. According to Ms. Smith, evolutionary scientists have easily explained that the male orgasm is linked to reproduction of the species. In other words, the male produces sperm and ejaculates in the process of the sex act, and a child is produced on most of these occasions.
Women, on the other hand, can participate in the sex act, become pregnant and not experience an orgasm. This gender difference is still challenging scientists who are determined to identify the "evolutionary purpose of the female orgasm."
FLOATED THEORIES
The writer of this article points out to her readers that over the past 80 years, many theories have been floated to explain the mystery of the female. Some theorists argue that the "orgasm encourages women to have sex and to reproduce."
Another school of thought posits that the orgasm "leads women to favour stronger and healthier men in order to maximise their offspring's chances of survival."
This second proposal is rather interesting. It points to the fact that apart from the financial gains that can be gleaned from relationships with older andropausal men, women would be much more fulfilled sexually and psychologically if they select younger, stronger and healthier men. In fact, Smith quoted the findings of one Dr. Alcock who argues that just because women do not have an orgasm every time she has sex does not mean that the female orgasm is not evolutionary adaptive. Obviously, Dr. Alcock can't take no for an answer.
According to Smith, this rather interesting debate is taking centrestage because "Dr. Elizabeth Lloyd, a philosopher of science and professor of Biology at Indiana University," has taken on the mainstream schools of thought that try to fit women's sexuality in the same boxes as that of the male of the species.
Dr. Lloyd argues that the female orgasm "has no evolutionary function at all." Instead, she proposes that in the process of development, the female orgasm is strictly 'for fun'.
In other words, the 'pleasure principle' of female sexuality is slowly coming out of the closet.
This pleasure principle has been identified with the presence of the clitoris and its role in giving women control over their vital sexuality. Such discoveries and discussions are neither new nor revolutionary to women who have learnt to understand the complexities of their bodies and their sexual responses. So, on the one hand, we might tend to gloss over these debates and dismiss them as frivolous. However, women had better be always conscious of the fact that the recognition of the 'pleasure principle' of female sexuality is the greatest threat to the base of male power in both the private and public spheres.
Also, this knowledge and stream of thought are fundamental threats to the core values of all major religious movements that have historically framed the value systems of all societies.
Now that the debate around the sensitive issue of female sexuality is being revisited by scientists, philosophers and feminists, every woman needs to be reminded that many of the systemic barriers to women's fundamental human rights are rooted in the fact that the control of female sexuality is the most critical element of patriarchal systems.
The human development project is constantly being retarded by efforts of state, church and the global economy to control women's reproductive capacity and the 'offsprings of their womb'.
Day by day, night after night, over centuries of human existence, women are feared, held in awe, mutilated, violated, glamorised, beaten, raped, exploited, put on pedestals as ornaments and blamed for all the ills of society.
In this confusion around the essence and meaning of womanhood, far too many women are denied their God-given difference and the essential vitality of their presence in the human family.
According to writer Sunila Abeysekera, women grow to fear their own sexuality. "We learn to deny our own capacity for pleasure," and far too many of us pretend in order to please these men.
NO PRETENDING
This discussion on the gender differences in the 'brief event' called the orgasm, should really convince all women who want to validate their womanhood that they need not pretend that they always have orgasms when they have sex. They also should stop the fake moans and groans that are designed to signal to the male that her sexual satisfaction is his prerogative.
Instead of 'faking it', women should try to establish relationships in which they can tell men the truth when he asks on every sexual occasion, "Darling did you come?" Instead of lying, women need to demonstrate that intimacy is the hallmark of a healthy relationship with a sexual partner.
Dr. Harriet Golhor Lerner has written some exceptional books about women's lives. In the Dance of Deception, she argues that women's "failure to live authentically and to speak truly may have little to do with evil or exploitative intentions." Instead, she posits that pretending may frequently reflect a wish to protect others and "to ensure the viability of the self as well as our relationship."
In fact, Lerner argues that the kind of pretending in intimate relationships between men and women springs from "the constricted definitions of self that the majority of women absorb without question."
Pretending is the building block of femininity in the patriarchal system. The time has come for women to demystify their orgasmic potential, their understanding of their bodies, and free themselves from the stranglehold of the patriarchal definitions of who a 'real woman' is.
If women are denied the kind of education that informs them about their bodies and their responses, they will continue to 'fake it' in their effort to give men the 'feel good' aura that is one of the building blocks of male superiority within thepatriarchal framework.
Glenda Simms is the executive director of the Bureau of Womens Affairs.
