Wendel Abel
FOR MANY this article may be difficult to read. We may identify patterns of behaviour in family members, friends and ourselves.
There is not much data available on the prevalence of sex addiction and it is not a topic that is widely discussed. It is certainly one of the many addictions to which we often turn a blind eye. However, access to the Internet has created greater opportunities for individuals to live out their sexual fantasies and to make more contacts.
To emphasise the nature of sex addiction here are some constructed case scenarios.
The 60-year-old church deacon was brought before the church council. Despite being married, he has had at least 10 encounters with women in the church within the past year. He was stripped of his position and asked to leave the church.
Mary's sex addiction resulted in her sleeping with dangerous men. "I enjoyed sleeping with rough looking men. One night I went to a hotel with one. He held a knife at my throat and raped me. I was completely traumatised," she said.
Harold was a business executive. He enjoyed sleeping with prostitutes. " I enjoyed going to single's club, get - on the beach, in the car, in the mountains. I have been held up several times, but I can't seem to stop. It has caused my wife and family a lot of pain.
" I would sleep with a woman every night. I have had weekends in which I have slept with as many as 10 women. "Unfortunately, my life is now a mess. My marriage has ended. I am now HIV positive."
CAN ONE BE ADDICTED TO SEX?
Addiction may result from drugs, compulsive eating or behaviour, such as compulsive gambling, compulsive spending and sex. These all have one thing in common, in that they cause the brain to produce certain chemicals which stimulate the reward centre in the brain, and this results in pleasurable feeling.
What are the features
associated with sex addiction? The features associated with
sexual addiction are:
1. A pattern of out of control behaviour and inability to stop despite adverse consequences.
2. Pursuit of high risk or destructive behaviours. Some of these behaviours include having many relationships at the same time; having relationships
outside of one's primary
relationship; hustling in clubs, bars or health clubs.
Sex addiction may also include engaging in sex with anonymous partners, cruising beaches and parks and frequent one night stands. In addition, persons addicted to sex will frequently participate in phone sex; activity, make inappropriate sex phone calls and utilise personalcolumns in the newspaper to find partners.
3. Recurrent sexual practice resulting in failure to fulfil
major role obligations at work, school or home (poor work performance, neglect of household).
4. Recurrent sexual activity in situations in which it is hazardous.
5. Continued activities
despite having persistent or recurrent interpersonal problems (for example, arguments with
spouses about consequences
of sexual behaviour, physical fights).
EFFECTS OF SEX ADDICTION
Sex addiction may lead to many emotional, social and physical health problems. These include sexually transmitted infections, for example, gonorrhoea, syphilis and AIDS.
" I was always getting an infection. I was always going to the doctor for treatment," reported one Kingston resident.
"I recognised, I had a problem at age 16, but I loved sex. I have had at least six abortions. This addiction has destroyed my life.
I was never able to have a steady relationship. I eventually got married and one evening my husband came from work and caught me in bed with a man."
One lady says the Internet has made things easier. "I can go on to numerous websites and chat rooms. I find myself spending
so much time on the Internet indulging in sex. As a result I
go to bed late at nights and I have accumulated so much bills relating to these activities."
Apart from the impact on
marriages, the family and the children, sex addiction leads some individuals to develop psychiatric problems, such as depression and anxiety. Other problems include loss of friends, financial losses, career losses, loss of integrity and self-esteem.
HELP IS AVAILABLE
1. This first step in the
recovery from any addiction is
to admit that one has a problem.
2. Seek help early - discuss the matter with a trained professional for example, psychologist, psy-chiatrist or addiction counsellor.
3. Seek out the local self-help group for persons with addiction for example, Alcoholic Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. Although these groups are for drugs, they will engage persons with other
forms of addiction.
Dr. Wendel Abel is a
consultant psychiatrist and senior lecturer, University
of the West Indies; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com.
