Melville Cooke
A FEW weeks ago a gentleman from Port Maria, St. Mary, wrote a 'Letter to the Editor' in which he firmly requested that the name of a particular street be reverted to its original. He has lived there all his life and some bright spark, without asking his or any other resident's permission, by your leave or beg pass, had changed it to 'Ross', to honour a politician.
It had occurred to me previously that politicians have this habit of having their names attached to roads. That particular thought was sparked by a then brand new sign that announced Karl Samuda Avenue, near the St. Richard's Primary School on Red Hills Road.
At the time the sign was 'criss', but the road it announced as Karl the Chameleon's was another matter entirely. It was a farm track transported into the heart of the city, but I guess that it was enough for a suicidal cock, as the unforgettable ads for the 1997 general election stamped the man. It has since been repaired.
I got to thinking about the number of major roads named after politicians.
There is the Jones pair - Ken Jones in Portland and Winston Jones in Manchester. There are the cousins who shared up Jamaica - the Bustamante Highway in Clarendon and the Norman Manley Boulevard in Negril, Westmoreland.
There is the socialist path of the Michael Manley Boulevard in Kingston and the governor's route of the Howard Cooke Highway in Montego Bay.
Then there is the unknown, such as the AGR Byfield outside St. Ann's Bay, which I am willing to bet a $100 coin is named after a politician.
In fact, travelling around the island's highways is virtually a ride on a political bandwagon. I can just imagine how some political big-wig was salivating over the thought of having even one part of the toll road named after him. Sorry, chaps, we don't own those smooth strips of asphalt - and we won't for a very long time, so thy names will not be attached.
Portia Simpson Miller has gone one up on them all though, with the Portia Simpson Miller Square at the intersection of three major Corporate Area roads. They are Spanish Town Road (both the 'good' side hosting the major manufacturing area towards Six Miles and the 'bad' side hosting the 'shottas' towards the Denham Town Police Station), Hagley Park Road and Marcus Garvey Drive.
Now that is a coup. Tell them to 'gu weh', Mrs. Simpson Miller.
I do not know if politicians try very hard to have public roadways named after them or their party cronies, but having a piece of asphalt bearing your name does have certain advantages.
For one, we can't help but be reminded of the name, even if we want to forget the particular scoundrel. For example, try giving directions into Kingston from the airport, using the Michael Manley Boulevard, without using its name. "Yea man, yu jus' go a Arba View Roundabout, den yu go straight - straight straight, no ben ynuh - den yu ago pass Cement Compiny an Flowa Mill, den yu reach wan staplight. No go right, dat a Win'ward Road, an a bare shatta up deh. Go straight straight pon de road fi de man deh weh Mutty Perkins did cuss afta 'im dead an some people di sey 'im shouden dweet. Yea man, de same bredda whey did dey neck an neck wid Bob fi gallis a de 70s, whey nuf ooman did cry fa."
Hmm.
Then there is the sense of permanence and popularity. There are few grander affairs than a road opening or reopening and 'good road' to impress those more accustomed to footpaths is a perennial election strategy. And road names are not changed in a hurry, so chances are the politician will go down in history, as seems to be the driving (pun intended) desire. And after a couple years people will actually believe that this person did something worthwhile to have their name on a road sign.
But wouldn't it be so much more interesting to have the roads named after famous speeches or personal characteristics? I can just imagine sailing along on 'Light A Candle Avenue', then hooking a left at 'Sing A Sankey Close'. 'Bangarang Boulevard' should be a breeze.
I do not know who names a road after a politician and if the general public is consulted, but I do have a couple candidates for any intended the renaming of the forever flooded or near derelict Yallahs Fording. And I do believe I have the perfect suggestion for the road to the Riverton Dump.
And couldn't we rename the dual carriageway section of Windward Road (outside 16 1/2) Parliament Way?
Melville Cooke is a freelance writer
