Amina Blackwood-MeeksWELL DIS time Likkle Miss Jing Bang is writing a management modernisation manual. For she sey she conclude sey people cudda talk till dem blue bout 21st century dem is not going to catch up with it till dem change fundamentally de culture of what dem call management in some sections of de country.
Yu know what's wrong with Jamaica? It have too much dumb people in charge a too much tings. At least dat is what Likkle Miss Jing Bang tink. She invite yu now fe tink it through wid har an see what conclusion yu come to. See it dere now, yu nuh want fe tink bout it. Yu just want somebody tell you what dem tink. Jing Bang sey dat is part of what she talking bout. Number one if yu doan tink something yu wont have nothing to say an dat is
de first commencement of dumbness.
De second commencement is when yu fraid fe sey what yu really tink. Yu fraid de boss won't like yu again. Yu too dumb fe realise sey if him dumb enough fe nuh like yu because of what yu tink, him probably never did like yu in de first place. In odda words him never tink much bout yu to begin. So him did dumb to who or what him did hire. Eida dat or him tink less of you because yu come work inna fe him place. Don't yu know it have some people like dat? Jing Bang sey she meet dem all de time. Beat dem chest inna boardroom bout how fe dem company only recruit de brightest and de best and when de brightest an de best go fe de interview now hear de interview question, "And why would someone of your stature want to work with us?" Dat is a dumb question.
JOB PLACEMENT SPECIALIST
Yu know what is even dumber, ascardin to JB? It have some people who call demself job placement specialist who teach people how fe write resume and sell demself at interviews. Yu hear dat? Sell demself! Commodify who dem is. Well some a dem actually teach people how fe answa a question like dat. An the answer does not include anything honest like, "Well yu pay good money an a smaddy of my stature need dat kind of money to maintain de stature". No dem want something totally dumb like "Well, yu invite me to de interview, so me come". Brilliant! Yu get de job same time for yu jus confess sey anyting dem ask yu fe do yu wi dweet.
An a dehso de bang start to go rang. Dem start watch yu now. Everyting yu do is a confirmation sey if yu was anybody yu wudden come a fe dem place come teck orders from dem. An de fus time yu fail to fill de order bang double rang. For inna fe dem head dem did reduce to manageable proportion of nothing an yu come now a gwaan like something. Yu never hear dem talk bout how dem gwine cut somebody down to size? Yu never wonder if it nuh occur to dem sey dat mean sey de smaddy bigger dan dem an dem consider demself likkle to begin wid? Dumb! For if dem did have any sense dem wudda try reach up even if dem cudden grow.
PROFILING
De trute is dem wuzzen looking fe smaddy who can tink. Dem did more jus waan fe go cocktail party go boas sey, "Guess who I have in my outfit". But dem nuh intend fe yu gwaan like de outfit fit you. Yu is just an endorsement, like entertainer pan billboard a sell product. Dem doan recognise dat yu can do anyting but pose or hold any opinion what dem doan give you. Dem get frighten by it. Now dat is dumb. Jing Bang sey a ton-load of valuable resources get crushed under de weight of dat dere dumbness. Jacket and tie an high heel shoes an stockings ah go kill we wid dumb management strategy.
Yu know when dem get dumb? If yu ever put something pan paper. For dem kean meck yu know sey dem kean read. Dem jus nuh ansa yu letter. Dumb yu out. Dumb enough fe tink sey yu believe sey de Secretary laas it, or they weren't in office when it arrived, or it is in the pile that grew while they traveling. Dumb enough fe tink sey yu ago feget sey yu did write it. Dumb enough fe tink sey yu nuh see it as de same bad-behaving uncivilized conduct what dem sey dem kean teck "in the society". Yu ever hear dem, especially if dem have children or a deal wid young people: "When somebody speaks to you, you must answer. What is the matter with this young generation". Dumb enough fe tink sey "in the society" it is uncivilised conduct but in the office it is "management strategy". Dumb enough fe tink sey age have monopoly pan de categorisation of unacceptable behaviour.
Yu eva hear dem pan fe dem verandah. Have loud chat and chat pure foolishness. Tek afta George Bush and confuse volume with substance. Feel big sey dem can mash up something dat predate dem. Yu ever hear when dem fire somebody, dat a de biggest fedda inna dem cap. An dem nuh realize sey dat nuh mean sey dem know what de smaddy did know. Dem still dumb.
COCKTAIL PARTY
Dumb enough fe confess sey de only way dem can feel good is if dem believe sey dem meck somebody else feel bad. Live pan people name a cocktail party, a boas bout dem been doing dis job for 20 years. Sometimes all dat mean is dat dem have one year's experience 20 times. Come in like de economy. No growth. Dumb. Den why dem nah move dem find somebody fe blame. Teck everybody tun psychiatrist ah try get de suspected stumbling block affa dem chest and when dem see yu dem have nutten to say. Dumb.
If yu tink dem dumb, check out de one dem who put up with it, because dem don't want to rock de boat. Dem call dat preserving stability in de status quo or dem doan want to be de fus smaddy fe sey something bout it. Yu know any body like dat? Jing Bang sey de next part of de manual will be about people who meck a living tecking advantage of people's dumbness. A deh so she ago expose sey if we wan to go any furder, we have to look no further dan how we cultivate and feed affa de dumb in charge.
