Mel Cooke, Freelance Writer
Johnny (left) and Icemen perform at the Backyaad Crack-Up Comedy Show, which visited Portmore for the first time on Sunday night at the Body Dynamics Gym, Port Henderson Plaza. - WINSTON SILL/FREELANCE PHOTOGRAPHER
LUNGS GASPED for air, jawbones were stretched to the limit, stomach muscles creaked and stress was laughed away on Sunday night, as the Backyaad Crack-Up took a toll free trip to the Body Dynamics gym in the Port Henderson Plaza, Portmore.
It was a sit-down workout, though, and the audience for the first trip of the Crack-Up over the Causeway occupied about a half of the chair provided, with a few choosing to stand for the funny workout.
The 'laugherobics' instructors in the first part of the programme were Dahlia Harris, Pretty Boy Floyd and Lemon. After the break Christine Hewitt made her stand-up comedy debut, with the tag teams of Iceman and Johnny and Ity and Fancy Cat finishing the Crack-Up, in more ways than one.
In fact, the crack up ended on an athletic note, with Ity as the commentator and Fancy Cat as 'Veronica Campbell' in tight, black mid-thigh Leo Poldo shorts and a tight, tucked-in Body Dynamics gold sleeveless shirt. There was pandemonium as Fancy Cat replayed the 200m Olympics victory, ending with a weddy weddy jig, as pandemonium reigned.
Dahlia Harris took on the persona of the elderly Cass Cass down to the slight, continuous shaking and open-mouthed speech. "Some of you feel old people don't have love life. Just the other day I go over to my neighbour to borrow salt. She stark naked," Cass Cass said. She enquired why and the lady said she was wearing her 'love dress' for her husband, so Cass Cass went back home and got into her love dress mode. Her husband came home, but when he was told she was in her love dress he said "it need ironing".
LYRICAL DEXTERITY
Pretty Boy Floyd showed his lyrical dexterity with "I am aware you are not single, but we will not leave him out. We will invite him to our wedding."
He gave a heartfelt description of the 'funny' cops and had the women in his corner as he described how a man buys them a drink and follows them all over to rub it out in a dance. "Oonu don't like it?" he asked and the ladies chorused 'no!'. "Den buy oonu own liquor," Floyd said.
Lemon examined the funniness of cricket and declared "me naa tek no man maiden!" and also dismissed football with "mark which man? Hol' him whe?" He did not even get to finish his imitation of a man who stammers making a call to his mother overseas, as the laughter of the audience when they saw where he was going was overwhelming, taking the Crack-Up into a break.
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
"Clap like how oonu fi clap fe me," Christine Hewitt commanded when she came on. She examined the strangeness of the English Language, where it is OK to say two men were fighting in the street, but not to say they were 'foughting' and ripped the house with a tale of two women tracing. One tells the other that "yu sittin big like a dancehall" and gets the reply "yes, but when de right soun play in eh it cork!" There was an explosion of applause and when the comic debutant asked "anything a gwaan fe me?" there was a chorus of 'yes!'.
Iceman and Johnny went down memory lane with 'remember this', covering Kim Batten and Deon Hemmings at the Olympics and DYCR getting bottled at Sting, then did a hilarious skit of Prime Minister PJ Patterson instructing the JDF how to respond to an invasion for weed. An encore was required and they did the honours with an Elephant Man mock interview, flying saliva and all.
When Fancy Cay said "me naa bow" and Ity asked why, to which he replied "it too salty", the closers were off to a flying start. There was serious advice on heeding when a woman says 'no' and Ity sang 'If You Don't Know Me By Now' with Cat doing the Jamaican translation ("yes, we have we dutty ways!") before they ended, the Campbell skit coming on the encore.
And the first Backyaad Crack-Up in Portmore was a preview of sorts, as the same line-up will be on at Backyaad on Constant Spring Road in St. Andrew on Wednesday night.
