Dear Rev.
I AM currently involved in a relationship for the past four years with a man who has been separated for four and a half years. He seams like he does not have any intention of divorcing his wife. Talk to him on more than one occasion, he seams like he is interested but he is really not. We do everything together. We are currently in business together. Do you think this is a good idea?

Dear Friend:

It sounds as if you already know what to do, but may be simply afraid to take action. Do you love this man and do you think he loves you?

Some persons who have been divorced are often reluctant to enter another marriage, for fear of the same thing happening again. This fear is sometimes very great that it impacts upon all reason. This may be what is happening to your man, and if it is the case, he will need help in dealing with this. I would suggest that you talk with him about seeing a therapist, who can assist him in resolving this and other issues he may be having. If he does not want to go, then you could go with him.

If he refuses to get help or states that he does not want to get married again, then it may be time to leave. You will however have to consider the implications of ending the relationship. How will it affect the business? How will it affect the other areas of your life?

Try these suggestions, and see if they work.

- Rev.

Dear Rev.

I am 19 years old and just leaving college. I have a friend, who is also male who I feel extremely attached to; I want to be around him all the while. I get very bored when he is not there and I think about him a lot. I am not gay but I know this is not normal. I really hope you can help me.

Dear Friend:

There could be several reasons why you want and like to be around your male friend. At 19, you are still going through puberty, and it is at this period that the best and most meaningful friendships are formed. It could be that you love being around your friend, because he makes you happy when he is around, and it does not have to be sexual.

Another reality is that this friendship may be closer than any other friendship you may have had, which causes it to mean much more to you.

It could also be that you are sexually attracted to this young man, and may be in love with him, but you are not yet aware of same.

I would suggest that you find a therapist to sit and talk with about how you are feeling, one who will be able to help you explore what is happening with you.

- Rev.