Ivret Williams
Dear Counsellor:
MY WIFE has a boss who is very pressuring. As such my wife will come home and take out her frustrations on the children and me. She is currently looking another job and for the family's sake, I hope she is successful. However, in the meantime what should I do?
Danny
Dear Danny:
I am sorry to hear that and unfortunately there are persons in supervisory positions who will abuse their power. Unfortunately your wife is projecting her frustration upon her family. This is not good because to protect her you will project the frustration on someone else who is also innocent and the children will also do so with other children. I would advise her to go and see a counsellor who would help her sort through the problems she is having at work. If she is having personality problems moving to another job may not help the situation as she may be having a problem relating to persons. She may also need to be more assertive and may lack conflict resolution skills. The counsellor may help her develop work related skills.
Pressuring
me for sex
Dear Counsellor:
I MET this guy two months ago and I like him. However, the problem is, he is pressuring me to have sex with him. I am not ready to take the relationship to that level because I want to get to know him more. He claims that as a man he wants sex and he cannot hang around for long without knowing he is getting 'something'. There are times when I feel like I should tell him to go. What is your advice?
Carol
Dear Carol:
It is your body and you have the right to decide who you sleep with and when. Don't short-change yourself and give too much too soon. Men will give love to get sex. If he really values you and the relationship he will wait. Too many women get pressured into a sexual relationship before knowing a man's values, whether or not he is marriage material and if he would want to marry them.
Jealous
older man
Dear Counsellor:
MY BOYFRIEND is 20 years older than I am. We have been friends for the past nine months and he treats me very well. The only problem is that in the last two months he has got very jealous and is questioning my every movement. I feel he does not trust me and I cannot deal with his possessive nature. Can this relationship work?
Jody
Dear Jody:
In answering your question, research indicates that relationships in which persons are more than 10 years older than the other do not have a high success rate. The older person, because of maturity will try to parent the younger one. They may also be jealous of the younger person and become possessive. Can this work? It is up to both of you and the commitments you are both prepared to make. However, there will be the need for greater understanding and patience between you two.
Ivret Williams is a counselling psychologist. Email her at
letstalkrelationships@yahoo.com or editor@gleanerjm.com
