Mai'khi C'Nia, Contributor
WOE UNTO ye, oh Jamdown. For thou art afflicted by great conflagrations during thy dry spell; thou art ravaged by devastating deluges during thy wet season; thou art decimated by demented cutthroats when thou slumber, and thou art belittled by apathetic 'ticians when thou art awake. Woe unto ye, oh Jamdown, for thou art perpetually bewitched.
Woe unto ye children of 'Sir Busta' and 'Daddy Manley', for thou inherited a land of wood and water, but thou hath slashed and burnt the timber, and carted it away in mountains of crocus bags blackened with soot. Now thou art left with nigh but disruptive inundations, in overwhelming measures.
Woe unto ye, when thou art hardheaded and hearkened not the words of the Son, for he gave unto thee the parable of the builder, and the point was simple yet cogent - that thou shouldst lay thy foundation on solid ground. But thou hath gone and rest thy head in the very riverbed, and when the raging torrents snarl at thy bedpost thou beseech the Fresh Prince and Omar, keeper of the thread-bag, in hysteria saying, "Deliver me and my household from this destruction, for my ranch is not insured, and it is teetering at the edge of a sink-hole."
Woe unto ye, when thou allow thy desperation to overcome thy commonsense, and thou protect not thy capital as best as thou shouldst. For thou hath outlaid on a development that is built smack-dab atop the water table, and hath neglected to consider what wouldst occur in times of prolonged precipitation.
Behold, now thou berate the administration for lameness in their oversight, and art litigating at the behest of them that opt to gain political mileage from thy predicament, but thou accord naught to thy own indiscretion and irresponsibility.
Woe unto ye, when a displaced 'tician whose signature authorised the cause of thy despondency, conveniently forget that he hath presided over certain chicanery, and who hath offered thee neither apology nor assistance to acquire recompense, and hath sought not absolution, but with disdain and disregard hath directed thee to take suit with the administration. Verily I say unto ye, such a man is without honour, for he hath pulled a Pontius Pilate on thee, and sought to absolve himself of any personal obligation to thee and thy household.
Woe unto ye when thou have to obtain a visa to enter Aruba and the Caymans. Verily I say to ye, these insignificant upstarts art footstools of their respective colonial masters and art not in the same class or prestige with thee. Dearly beloved, thou art in a state of derision when e'en they art making a 'poppy-show' of thee.
Woe unto ye, when thy 10-year-olds participate in the unlawful and savage ravaging of thy daughters, and the discarding of them akin to the dumping of social waste. Woe unto ye when thou jostle the likes of Colombia for the position of being the bloodiest nation throughout creation. Verily I say unto thee, it wouldst appear that the rock hath become the cradle of Hades in this day.
Incline thine ears, oh Jamdown, and hearken diligently unto Peto, for Zion hath not forsaken thee. Yea, waters may rage within but thou art untouched by the phenomenal and monstrous tempests that beset other shores. For thy saints are at prayer, and where there are e'en five numbered amongst thee, thou shalt be passed over. So absorb ye the pressure that is all around thee, for thy resilience will increase, then expend thy energy into turning thy woes into delight. Selah.
