Wendel Abel
ONE OF the recent surveys done in Jamaica revealed that one in three students in secondary school tried ganja in one form or another in their lifetime. It also revealed that approximately one in 10 students has reported using ganja 30 days prior to study.
Students report a number of reasons for using ganja; these include peer pressure and sheer curiosity as young people experiment. Many young people use drugs to reduce frustration and to feel better.
Many parents become frustrated, angry and confused when they find out their child is using ganja.
Here are some steps to take if you find that your child is using ganja:
1. Do not deny it: It is always frightening to most parents when they discover that their child is using drugs. Very often the telltale signs are obvious and you may even get reports from others that your child may be using drugs. Some indications include the presence of rizzla (the paper used to make ganja cigarettes) in their room or in his/her pockets. One may even find remnants of ganja in his/her room or thrown through his/her bedroom windows. If you see the early signs, do no panic or deny them. Take action.
2. Do not preach and teach excessively: Many parents are so distressed that they tend to preach and teach excessively. They take the youngsters to many persons for counselling such as the school's guidance counsellor, the family counsellor, the family doctor, godparents, relatives and close family friends.
3. Stop the blame game: We are always searching for answers. In an attempt to do this, we try to identify all the possible causes of the child using ganja. The cause may never be clear to you. Stop trying to dig in the past and look for answers. It is always good to engage in a cordial and non-judgmental discussion with your child to understand why he or she may be using ganja. But avoid the blame game.
4. Do not be an enabler: Many parents, especially mothers, become enablers to family members, especially when that family member has started to use drugs. The enabling behaviour includes covering up or even lying for the family member. Be firm with your child, but do not be an enabler.
5. Focus on your child's strength: Very often, out of anger and disappointment, we tend to quarrel and beat upon the young person who is using ganja. Try to work with your child from a strength perspective. Focus on his or her strengths and assets, and avoid focusing on the negatives.
6. Choose your battles: It is not important to win all the battles but what is important is that you win the wars in your child's life. Make sure that your child focuses on his or her school work and his or her career goals. Do not focus a lot on the drug-using behaviour.
7. Seek professional help early: You may need professional intervention early. You may be so caught up in the situation emotionally that it becomes difficult for you to be objective. Ensure that you see someone who is appropriately trained to deal with problems of drug use and in young people and adolescents.
8. Attend a meeting of Narcotics Anonymous. Self-help groups such as Narcotics Anonymous have been shown to be the most effective in dealing with problems of drug abuse. These groups provide information and emotional support. Interaction with these groups allow you to better understand and to deal with the problem of your child using drugs.
9. Learn to accept your powerlessness: This is not a contradiction in terms, but although you must try to address the problem of your child using drugs, remember if your child insists on using drugs, you will not be able to do anything to prevent him or her from doing that. Sometimes, we have to accept our own powerlessness. You may lead a horse to water but you cannot force it to drink.
Dr. Wendel Abel is a consultant psychiatrist and senior lecturer, University of the West Indies; phone: 922-3216; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com.
