Dear Rev:

I have a very similar situation, per the article released recently "I want a divorce". I live in the Cayman Islands and my husband lives in Jamaica.

His ex-girlfriend continues to call my phone and hang up and whenever I visit him in Jamaica, she calls and, he would sit on the phone and talk with her. Other times, he will keep his phone on silent and when she calls him, he would sneak away and talk to her. We spoke to a counsellor not too long ago and my husband was advised what he needs to do to deal with the situation. She has not complied. He tends to hide a lot of things from me and I have been trying my best to keep the communication door open, but I feel as if I am travelling down a one way street. I can't deal with it any longer and "I want out".

Dear Friend:

It is really unfortunate that so many individuals are no longer taking seriously the vows they took when they were getting married.

If what you have described is true, then both your husband and his ex-girlfriend have weak characters. It is unfortunate that you both only went to the counsellor once. The reality is that couples therapy takes time. It cannot realistically be less than six sessions, in order to work through the challenges.

The reality however is that during the process, you might both decide that you no longer want the marriage. I am not saying this will happen; however, just making you aware that it is a possibility.

But give it another shot, if he is willing to work through the issues with a counsellor, then you go for individual counselling so, that you can make a well thought through decision.

Dear Rev:

For years I've been struggling with a problem. There is a guy in Jamaica who I have loved for years. He is married, I am married, but not a day goes by that I don't think of this man. He should have been my husband but I made a fool of myself. I have been asking God to send me a sign so that I can forget about this man. When I happen to call him he behaves as if he really wants me. This is an issue I have been dealing with for many years. How and what can I do to forget about this man?

Dear friend:

It seems to me that you are barking up a tree that has no fruits. Why are you wasting your time with a man that does not belong to you or seems willing to establish a committed relationship with you?

I think you should try and find a man who is free and unattached and forget about this man. Granted, you think he should have been your husband; however, he is someone else's husband and you will have to respect that.

It sounds to me that you are quite confused about what you want. You say you want to forget this guy, yet you keep calling and talking with him, which is causing you to want him more. Might I suggest that you need to break off all contacts with this man. Additionally, you need to get help in clearing your mind off this guy. If you truly love this man, then it will not be as easy as I am suggesting, you will hurt terribly, and not want to move on. You will therefore need a very good friend who can help you through this time, or seek professional help in rising above this challenge.