Shelly-Ann Thompson, Freelance Writer
ONE-NIGHT STANDS are more often than not unplanned. Two people meet in a bar, they strike up a conversation, liquor flows freely, the body chemistries are in sync and before you know it they are either in the nearest hotel room or at each other's place if both are single and the coast is clear.
Exposure to one-night stands and their likely occurrence usually increases during the festive season. Many persons just want the thrill of the season to be coupled with sex on Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve.
One-night stands have been known to happen even at the end of bachelorette or bachelor parties as two previously dormant flames ignite, giving rise to a last fling before permanent commitment. They also take place as girlfriends take stolen moments from a close confidante's partner and if no serious lasting consequences such as pregnancy occurs, all is forgotten.
Martha* was on a long cross-country trip with Jimand after too much knee touching under the table of the coach during the four-day ride, both got it off in the dead of night somewhere along the highway that criss-crossed the deserts of Arizona. It was their way of satisfying a curiosity and getting pent-up passion out of their systems because both had spouses at the end of the journey. That was nearly 20 years ago and she has not seen Jim since, and neither does she want to. However, she always recalls the incident as the best 'ride' of her life.
WOULD YOU BE LIKE MARTHA?
Think about it - no attachments, no commitments, and no obligations. If you detest responsibilities and live by the spur of the moment, then you might be the perfect person to have one-night stand encounters, says Yvonne Foster, counselling psychologist at Family Life Ministries. "One-night stand experiences relieve persons of any ongoing responsibilities. Living by the excitement of the moment, just going with the flow. These persons sometimes have many conquests to fulfil for them; these are escapades that make an exciting life."
DON'T CRY IN JANUARY
One-night stand participants should be able to accept the negative consequences. Men often complain that women don't adhere to the most important rule of one-night stands. Afterwards, the woman wants a telephone call or a date. Of course, love has blossomed out of such a rendezvous but telephone calls or a visit should not be expected.
Remember that often those who engage in one-night stands don't want commitment, says Ms. Foster. "They are unable to commit to a stable relationship - sometimes, too, they become sexual addicts and if so, they should get counselling to find out what is it that is in their life that makes them refuse to accept responsibility."
BE CAUTIOUS
As with everything this season, such as drinking and partying, Ms. Foster advises that persons engaging in one-night stands should be careful. "The major problem sometimes with such affairs is that the person forgets to be careful and this leads to sexually transmitted diseases." Men and women have always engaged in casual sex and the prevalence of the practice only lessened with the threat of exposure to HIV/AIDS.
In addition, a promiscuous life may in the future be detrimental emotionally. "Sometimes leading such a life is difficult to choose a mate because persons developed a pattern to be irresponsible and immature," Ms. Foster notes that many lose the thrill of one-night stands as they mature.
If in 2006 you still want to be single and unencumbered, perhaps a one-night stand is your answer this Christmas: just remember the condom!
* Names changed
