Barbara Ellington, Lifestyle Editor
A closer view of the Christmas dinner table set with fine china that features a red and green Yuletide pattern. - IAN ALLEN/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER
IT'S THE happiest time of year; a time when family and friends gather with loved ones to celebrate the birth of Christ and enjoy time-held traditions of going to church, visiting shut-ins and enjoying a lavish spread of food and drink.
But for some, it is not such a happy occasion. Relatives converge on the household, disturb the family's routine, criticise everything from little Tommy's grades to the paint on the walls and behave in a most demanding way. Secretly, the permanent members of such households cannot wait to see everyone go back to where they came from and get respite from the hustle and bustle of constant trips everywhere and the even more constant cooking!
Whatever your experience, it is always good to remember the true meaning of the season and not lose sight of the fact that no matter how they behave, family is very important.
With that in mind, the Lifestyle team shares the story of a family that enjoys being together at Christmas, as well as their own family traditions and some tips from our expert on getting through the season in harmony.
LOVE HAVING FAMILY AROUND
Kingston-based retired educator, Mrs. Bernice Moore, just loves having the family around for Christmas. And for the past 14 years, her brood of six, their spouses and children have journeyed from far and near to warm the hearth for the special time. They spend anywhere from seven to 14 days and enjoy the love and fellowship that abounds.
Mrs. Moore told Lifestyle that already she has baked the cakes, made some sorrel and bought the ham and turkey that will form part of Christmas dinner.
"I have also done the shopping and like every other year, I am looking forward to a lovely time. I just love having everybody here with me at Christmas," she said. This year, two of the grandchildren will be missing as they will be spending time with their other grandparents in Florida, but everyone else overseas is booked and ready to fly home.
There are usually more than 20 members of the Moore clan at home and during the season, they attend church services together, go out to hotels for brunch, visit the north coast beaches, check out the annual Little Theatre Movement (LTM) pantomime and other plays, visit elderly relatives in the country and friends in Kingston where they reside.
"Preparing the Christmas dinner is a task I share with my daughters and we usually have lots of leftovers for trips on the road," Mrs. Moore said. She also makes sure that one particular grandson who loves fruit cake, gets his own special one.
Tips for getting along with the clan this season
DR. RUTH Doorbar, consultant clinical psychologist, said that the season is definitely for family and everyone within the home at Christmas can enjoy family gatherings. Dr. Doorbar provided these following tips for getting along with the various personalities and emotions of the family.
1 Don't visit family empty-handed: if everyone contributes something or share their time, whether in cooking or financially, it can relieve the pressure from the head of the household who are usually grandparents.
2 Share the festivities with the other grandparents: If there are two sets of grandparents or in-laws, it would be best to spend Christmas breakfast at one and dinner at the other.
3 Come in high spirits: Be a participator, not only enjoying in the festivities, but being a part of it. Everyone is there to have fun so don't leave the physical burden on a particular set of relatives.
4 Don't overstay: For some it would be best not to stay too long, probably not overnight. Especially when there are grouses or conflicts among relatives. In this case it is better if you spend hours rather than days, so conflicts don't resonate.
5 Bring worthy gifts: If there is gift-giving think about the gift, buy gifts that are interesting, don't just buy a gift to give or give money. Put some thought into gift-buying and whether it is appropriate for the person you are buying it for.
6 Be positive: Radiate the positives and not the negatives by not quarrelling or criticising. Fulfil the meaning of Christmas that is - spreading good joy and love. It is usually sunny in Jamaica at Christmas time so spread it around. If you have a problem with a member of the family this is not the time to say it.
