Dear Rev

I don't know if I love my boyfriend. I don't know if I can trust him because it is a long distance relationship. I don't know if he is cheating on me. He told me he is not cheating.

Dear Friend:

It sounds as if you have some serious trust issues that you should have worked through before you entered this relationship. The reality is that a relationship will suffer greatly if there are unresolved issues.

Based on your short letter, it does not sound as if your boyfriend has given you reason to doubt his loyalty; however, you are questioning same non-the-less. I can understand that the long distance between you both may pose a challenge, and it is understandable that you may feel somewhat insecure every now and then. However, that does not mean he is cheating.

If you feel you can no longer continue the relationship because of the distance, then that is your right. However, it would only be fair to let him know what you are feeling, so that you can both decide on possible courses of action. If you do not love him, move on, do not waste both your time and his time.

- Rev

Dear Rev:

I have been married to a Jamaican man for a little over a year. I am a U.S. citizen residing in America. I had filed for him to come live with me. However, during the course of time both of our incomes took a tumble and so did the relationship from lack of communication. I told him that I wanted a divorce and that I was going to stop the visa process as I did not want to be financially responsible for him for 10 years, if he were to leave and stay somewhere else. He became angry and refused to sign divorce papers that I sent him. My problem now is how do I divorce this man without spending a large sum of money on a lawyer?

Dear Friend:

I am very sorry to hear of the difficulty you have been experiencing with your marriage. May I enquire however, why is it you thought the marriage would not work, if there was no income? Could you both not come together and decide on a course of action?

It sounds as if you were not willing to give the marriage a chance, simply because you were afraid of this man being dependent on you financially.

It sounds as if you did not give your husband or the marriage a chance to work.

Did you ever consider marital enrichment counselling? I would suggest that you should first seek to saving your marriage. If however, you decide that you no longer want your marriage, then it is your right to seek a divorce. I would suggest that you speak with a lawyer in the US, who will be able to advise you as to how to proceed. I am almost sure it is possible to have the papers served on him here in Jamaica, but again, a legal mind would have to advise you.

- Rev.