Mai'khi C'NiaAnd it came to pass that a new year dawned upon Jamdowners and they were in one accord hoping for a turnaround of their fortunes, and exponential improvement in their national affairs. But, Jamdowners commenced the year in erroneous fashion, exercising judgment and attitude that are inconsistent with their yearning.
Now, it appeared that the people were reluctant to return to their realities, for they stayed home on the second day, celebrating it as New Year's Day, and having unto themselves an extended holiday. Thus, while the rest of creation toiled and supplemented their gross domestic product, Jamdowners lazed away, yet another day for this was subsequent to granting unto themselves two Boxing Days. Dearly beloved, such conduct art to be shunned entirely, for it will directly impede thy quest to balance thy budget and overcome thy
economic hypothermia.
Hear oh Jamdown, for this is a time for resolutions, and I Peto hath committed unto myself principles which I shall reveal unto ye, so that thou might contemplate them, and see if they art compatible with thine own intentions, and that ye and I might therefore enjoin our resolve in an effort to achieve a better morrow on the rock.
consider thy land and fellow citizens
Firstly, I Peto hath avowed unto myself that I shall reaffirm my allegiance to all Jamdown. Dearly beloved, to ye I pledge the love and loyalty of my heart, the wisdom and courage of my mind, the strength and vigour of my body ... And I Peto, beseech all Jamdowners who possess a gracious heart and art unencumbered by a sullied conscience to partake of this reaffirmation. For it is not enough to order charity for thyself and thy household. Thou must also emphatically march beyond the periphery and apply thy individual vision and concept to that which ye aspire. Therefore, let thy consideration be for thy land and thy fellow citizens, and temper thy deeds accordingly, for in time thou shalt be custodian of the principles from which the patriots are nourished, and thy fortitude shall be their inspiration.
Furthermore, resolve ye to bestow not unto miscreants and felons respect which is not theirs to receive. For if thou art passive in the face of the unabated onslaught of homicides that hath beset the land, then thou art perpetuating unlawful assault on thy
liberation. Therefore, trod on circumspectly and where thou used to be in fellowship with thy brethren on the street corners, imbibing the spirits and partaking in a game of dominoes, thou must adjust thy arrangements and recede to more secure quarters, for thou shouldst be defiant, but thou shouldst not be rash. Verily I say to ye, assist the peace
officers as best as ye can, and ostracise all 'shottas' and gunhawks, for they art the enemy in this war, and thou must define which side thine allegiance lies.
Dearly beloved, thy land is bursting at the seams with good people, but thou hath not yet accepted the fact that thou possess
devastating power granted unto thee by thy constitution and its attendant democratic processes. Behold, thou hath allowed 'ticians far too much leverage over thy circumstances without parallel accountability, yet thou art the boss and they art thine employees. Yea, thou hath done much
hiring, but thou tend to drop the ball when it is time to do some firing. Dearly beloved, resolve ye to start afresh this day and take matters more into thine own hands. Verily, when it is time for the axe to fall, let heads roll in some quarters, and the bell shouldst toll not for some in other places. Selah.
