Sidney McGill
CHARLIE AND the Chocolate Factory is a wonderful, ethereal story based on moral principles that work. The story is centred on a poor little boy, Charlie, who had a dream of owning a chocolate factory. As luck would have it he, along with four other children from around the globe, found golden tickets in their chocolate bar to visit the famed Willie Wonka chocolate factory.
Willie Wonka was a recluse. He was cynical and sarcastic, having been spurned by spies in his workforce who stole his secret chocolate recipes. He made all his staff redundant and closed the factory to the public then he brought in loyal elf-like people to work for him. Willie Wonka became a wealthy man who had no family, except the fulfilment of his chocolate factory dream. Charlie, on the other hand, was poor but had a caring and devoted family - including his four grandparents who lived in his living room.
SOCIAL CAPITAL
Social capital can be more powerful than money. Take, for example, the power of a suicide bomber or a gang member with a gun and an assignment to kill. Your family (social capital) has the potential to make your life unbearable and the power to make your life worth every moment.
What's the point of your dream? Is it just winning at the game of financial investments or what it can buy? What goals have you set for your relationships at work or school, your friends and, most importantly, your spouse, and children for the New Year? These are the tickets to your dreams - the dreams that money can't buy.
Charlie's granddad said it plainly, "There is plenty of money. They print more every day but this ticket [to your dreams] - there are only five of them in the whole world. Only a dummy would take money for his ticket. Are you a dummy?" Every man wants to meet a woman he can give the world. But if he can't afford the world, he still has important assets: a creative mind, a functional sexuality, his devotion, ambition and his faith. Overvaluing money can cause high blood pressure, depression, performance anxiety and unfaithfulness between lovers who set unrealistic expectations. Undervaluing it makes them poor.
INVEST TIME
Be a family person and invest more time with your spouse, children and parents. It will take a lot of tact to gradually expose your 'secret identity' as you spend more quality time with those who matter most to you.
Help coach or mentor someone who has potential but needs your guidance, expecting nothing in return. Strengthen your faith in God by seeking and acknowledging God in all your ways. You need this relationship more than money or even your family. Like Charlie, never lose sight of your chocolate factory becoming a reality. Demonstrate your love by your sacrifice to those who support your chocolate factory idea. Put them first but remember you can learn a lot from those who oppose your dream.
When all is said and done, the impact you have on your supporters and those who do not care will be all that remains eternal. Wealthy Willie Wonka wanted to be loved by his father who hated chocolate, sweets and cavities. Charlie, however, was fiercely committed to his family and family values. In the end they both shared their strengths with each other - each becoming a more fulfilled person - having a family and a dream.
Increase your social capital this year by making your 'family' the reason for your dream. A family-dream integration is always a winner. Happy New Year to you.
Dr. Sidney McGill is a marriage and family therapist and executive director, Family Counselling Centre of Jamaica, St. Ann; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com.
