Tanya Batson-Savage, Freelance Writer
Steven Mackintosh (Tanis), Kate Beckinsale (Selene) and Scott Speedman (Michael) confer in 'Underworld: Evolutions'. - CONTRIBUTED
UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTIONS is one of the great three-second wonders of the world: those things you wonder about for three seconds or less and then dismiss them and save your mind the worry. It is another sequel in a long line of sequels that there was no real reason to make.
But it is fun! (That is, if you can enjoy the utter ridiculousness of this film). It is a hilarious trip into La La Land. It is the fodder upon which those who desire guilty pleasures feed. The costuming is great, camera work slick and the movie is one long fight, with a few pauses.
Directed by Len Wiseman and scripted by Danny McBride, Underworld: Evolutions certainly is fun. Whereas Underworld had worked with a weak plot, Underworld: Evolutions evolves beyond the need of such basics of movie making. It just keeps the action pumping, which keeps you glued to the screen, because one good bite deserves another.
The sequel picks up almost exactly where the last movie left off, and it is kind enough to give you a re-cap, just in case one forgot. So Selene, Death Dealer extraordinaire (played by Kate Bekinsale), having killed the leader of the vampires, Victor (Bill Nighy), is now on the run with the vampire and werewolf hybrid Michael Corvin (Scott Speedman).
The flick simultaneously takes you to the beginning of the battle between the vampires and the lycans (werewolves) and the point at which this battle will change its nature. It just does not bother give you any real information, because well, they forgot to use a real script.
THE REAL BATMAN
Selene and Michael make a great pair and this installation adds a little development (to use that term very loosely) to their relationship. It is easy to understand why Selene falls for Michael. He's a little on the dumb side, he has a great back and, of course, fangs. Selene is a very rare type of woman. Not only does she wear skin-tight leather well, but her lipstick is self-renewing, so that even in battle she never has to worry about reapplying.
Their nemesis in this outing is the eldest of the vampires, Marcus (Tony Curran), the real Batman. He actually has wings and looks like a bat, so one can sympathise with him for running or flying about killing everything. For the first half of the film, while everyone else is allowed to strut around in vampire chic (clinging leather outfits), he has to look like a huge malformed bat. So one forgives him the tendency to rip into his enemies.
MINDLESS FEST OF MAYHEM
All else aside, the makers of Evolutions must be credited for being aware of the product they are making. They have created a mindless fest of mayhem and they expect their audiences to approach it with mindlessness. As such, the film is riddled with reminders, just in case one had forgotten anything that had taken place 15 minutes earlier.
The werewolf graphic for William, the eldest of the werewolves, is the only disappointing element of the film, which seemed to have regressed at least 10 years in cinematic graphics. As such, he looks very fake, especially in close-up.
That aside, Underworld: Evolutions is a great creature feature, but leave the brain outside because it will only get in your way. Then sink your fangs into ridiculous, entertaining mayhem.
