Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson
Dear Counsellor:
First permit me please, to congratulate you on your decision to use this medium to communicate with your wide ranging readers, some of whom I'm sure (myself included) may wish to retain your advice for later review/reflection. I am now writing to seek your advice on parenting children who are lethargic and underperforming.
-M.M.
Dear M.M:
I wish to thank you for your kind comments about my column. I am glad that you find the article on the hyperactive child to be informative. Today, we will look at the lethargic, underperforming child.
As with any problem-solving, one has to look for reasons why a child is having the problem. There are several reasons why a child is lethargic and underperforming. The child requires a medical evaluation by a doctor. The problem can be either physical or psychosocial. Common medical reasons are anaemia (weak blood), vitamin deficiencies, under nutrition or chronic illnesses. A complete history and physical examination will rule out the possible causes. Certain investigations may need to be done to help the process.
It is therefore important that children get a medical examination on a yearly basis and attention paid to nutrition, exercise and activities for a healthy lifestyle. The other causes include depression, anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder inattentive type, learning disabilities and mental retardation. The child may have schizophrenia or sleep deprivation. The child may be tired or exhausted and easily fatigued.
Child abuse and violence in homes and communities impact greatly on the health of children. Children who don't have breakfast or lunch will tire easily and are unable to perform at home or school. A simple thing like lack of adequate sleep can be cured by restoring a proper bedtime.
Parents should be close to their children so that they can identify early warning signs of problems. Lots of warmth and attention with discipline and love go a far way to meet the needs of children. Rewards and positive reinforcement are important to maintain motivation in an underachieving child. Breakfast in the morning, lunch money for a nutritious meal, nutritional supplements, and a balanced meal with an annual check up is vital.
I was raped
Dear Counsellor:
I was raped by my boyfriend of six months. He says he's waiting too long for sex. I told him at the beginning that there is no sex before marriage and he has been pushing his way until it ended in forced sex. What should I do?
-Marcia
Dear Marcia:
Rape is a common problem and causes a lot of anguish to women. Men are forced in sexual activities but it is usually the women that we speak about. You will need to seek the help of a counsellor to deal with various issues.
Some of the feelings that may arise are shame, embarrassment and humiliation. Virginity is prized highly by some people and when they are forced to give this up, there is a sense of loss, grief and betrayal.
Rape by anyone is a heinous crime and it is worse when it's a familiar person. People don't realize that a person's body is a sacred object that is to be kept pure and loved. Privacy is needed and permission and agreement arrived at about the sex act. Forced sex is a common behaviour because men want to prove their manhood and feel if the woman is saying no, they really mean yes. We need an education programme on sex and sexual behaviour to deal with this issue of forced sex.
Dr. Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson;
El Shaddai Medical Centre, 9274824; yvonniebd@hotmail.com
