THE EDITOR, Sir:I AM writing this letter on behalf of the many women who are, or probably were, in the current situation that not only Wendy might have been in but that I am also faced with.
At 24, I lost my husband of two years, partner of six years, to a fatal car accident. Since then, I have been in two serious relationships.
The first one lasted for around eight years, when he met a woman and three months later married her; the next one lasted two years, when I got pregnant and lost the child he split. The latter's comment to me was that he never thought that at 40 I could get pregnant.
My father is a very well known businessman in Jamaica and I come from a very reputable family with a lot of high standards and morals set from birth. However, when a woman of 32 (like Wendy) or 40 like myself (and trust me there are many of us out there) are faced with the reality that our biological clocks are ticking and we are running out of time; then I say 'do it'. Although I am not currently in a relationship now, I am weighing my options which is to return to the States and go to a sperm bank or ask a dear friend out here to father a child with me.
The world, unlike the past, is now filled with a lot of intelligent and financially stable women, 30 and older, who have either never been married, widowed or divorced but are single, yet yearning to experience that wonderful feeling of childbirth and motherhood. Some of us have decided that we can go through life alone, with the now and again interaction that a partner brings. However, we cannot bear a child alone.
OVERWHELMING JOY
I am not condoning the manner in which Wendy made her announcement, but I remember when I found out I was pregnant (unwed); I wanted to shout it from the rooftop of Kingston, Miami, New York, Canada and anywhere else I visited. The joy I felt was so overwhelming that although I know my father at 80 years would not be pleased that I was unwed and pregnant it didn't matter to me; so I think it was that joy that made her release the information at the venue and I am sure if she had to do it again she would not have made the announcement in that manner.
Let us look at the bigger picture, however, and let's rejoice that a child will be brought into this world by an independent and stable woman who, with God's help, and her family's and friends' strength and wisdom will produce an outstanding person.
The media is always quick to 'raise someone to stardom' and even faster at bringing them back down. Wendy, hold your head up high as an individual and a mother-to-be. Your reign as Miss Universe in 1998 will always be yours. No one can take that from you, but Miss Universe didn't make you what you are: an adult who is an independent woman who made a decision. Best wishes.
jamaicamirhatid@hotmail.com
