Daviot Kelly, Staff Reporter
KELLY
THERE ARE certain things which human beings need to accept. Rain falls in November, cows eat grass and dark-skinned men love 'brownings'.
Yes, I confess I tend to gravitate towards those women who have lighter pigmentation and I'm not ashamed of it! When women publicly say they want men svelte in body but swarthy of pocket, do we complain? Do we sit and wish we were 50 pounds lighter and had pounds in our wallets? (Well I did once, but that's another matter).
The point is, we don't worry about the feminine desires. We simply take this information and file it away with the images of the woman who told us entrenched in our minds. Why? So we know never to ask her out again because we know the answer we're going to get!
But the minute a guy says to more mocha-toned femmes that he goes for the lighter shade, he's equivalent to a mass murderer; of children! Ladies, for a group of human beings always talking about double standards, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
INVESTIGATION
However, before I go torching villages, maybe a
little investigation is necessary. Perhaps the black empresses feel, how do I say, neglected. Maybe some wives feel the only reason hubby put the ring on their finger was because he couldn't find a browning to give it to, so he 'settled' for her.
Whatever tinge of sympathy I had disappears, however, for two reasons. One, I've heard many women sighing audibly about THEIR choice of husband. Furthermore, when white men fawn all over a black Nubian goddess, the same women grin from ear to ear in utter satisfaction. So it's not like they're devoid of attention! And don't forget - European and many other Caucasian men do not have a concept of browning as we on the Rock do. Their idea of black beauty is someone who looks like Naomi Campbell. But that's another discussion.
Pure white women don't get us going! Jessica Simpson, Teri Hatcher, Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff are nice, even cute at times, but lustworthy, hell no! Give me Halle Berry, Gabrielle Union and Sanaa Lathan any day.
PERFECT COMBINATION!
This, however, doesn't mean that we can't appreciate Eva Mendes, Salma Hayek and Catherine Zeta-Jones, who by the way aren't white. They are mixed, mestizos if you will. Their melanin is less but their bodies rank right up there with the Cleopatras I mentioned before. Perfect combination! (That's why guys love Puerto Rican women.)
Despite all the hubbub surrounding brownings, let's get something straight. I would never sacrifice peace of mind for a pretty face. She could be the world's prettiest being of milky visage, if she's a domineering, spoiled, immature and materialistic monster, then no thanks! I'll take a humble, quirky, down-to-earth girl with no hesitation. If she's a browning, then that's just a little soy milk to add to the (already delicious) black coffee. Later!
(Kelly does not advocate skin bleaching or lightening of one's skin colour).
