Melville Cooke
I NORMALLY AVOID speaking about politics like how politicians avoid speaking the truth when it really counts, but just as Carl Wint would have had something to say on the retirement of Edward Seaga, he would have commented on Portia Simpson Miller becoming People's National Party (PNP) president. So once again, as I did with 'Fare thee well Eddie', I tip a grateful plait to the bald dome of my late, very great elder and his Leminotep character, by briefly becoming Melinotep.
And lo it came to pass on the 25th day of Black History Month 2006, Portia Simpson Miller made Black history and women's history as the first female president of the PNP and thus, upon the final descent of P.J. Patterson from the Vale Royal throne, the first Prime Womister of Jamaica.
Indeed, hopes ran high on Hope Road not only among those with 'Team Portia' badging, but also among many people of the nation at large. For verily, they saith unto themselves, hath we not had enough of the men, Karl of the clan Blighted, Peter formerly of the Twelve Tribes of Israel and Omar of the clan Devaluation already united in another setting, the funeral of William of the clan Havenoheart?
BARBS THROWN
'Twas not a unanimous hope, nay, as the self-proclaimed intelligentsia threw barbs at Portia's coiffed cranium, hoping to hear an echo on impact to indicate a vacuum between her ears. Where are her qualifications, they demanded? Show me her degrees, they fumed at dangerously high levels of Celsius and Farenheit.
And lo, the loyal presented them with her PhD, Portia Hug Dem, and said 'hol' dat!'. For indeed, hath any of those with more letters after their names made any positive difference in the lives of the people? And, more importantly, hath they seemed to care? We doth not expect Portia to work miracles, but we know she will feel our plight, as she hath not forgotten where she is coming from. Hath not many with degrees distanced themselves from their and their parents and their parents parents barefoot and degree in Hungriology days as the straight distance themselves from Brokeback Mountain?
Hath not the Gong said it and said it well, they asked, when he sang, "Building church and university, deceiving the people continuously, graduating thieves and murderers?" Were it not those with degrees who committed robberies of the century, nay, even the millennium.
REAL WOMAN
Is not de food is how yu dish it, they said, and even if it is more bitter stew, which she did not make, Portia will dish it gently, for she will serve it with two big cornmeal dumpling of compassion. For she is a real woman, not a man with mammaries as many women in high positions are. Neither is she unnecessarily sharp of tongue in flaying enemies, real or imagined, although thou wouldst be wise not to draw her out.
Then they of the green tribe got purple in the face, for the polls hath said time and again that Bruce of the clan Golding has as much chance against Portia as Lexxus against Bounty Killer. This result is a sharp knife in our lower intestines, they murmured among themselves, inducing sharp and slippery bowel movements. For Portia shall win the 2007 general election and almost certainly get two terms, taking her to 2017. By then we would have been in the wilderness of opposition for nigh three decades, with not even mountain foot, much less mountain top or Promised Land of the right side of Duke Street in sight.
JUST REWARD
And lo all women, whether they supported Portia or not, walked a little straighter and clicked their shoe tips a little louder. For a woman who worked damned hard has got her just reward, they said, a rare thing in this lactose intolerant country. Is not everything switch, but things look a little brighter, for now we have Marion of the clan Hall in the dancehall, Carolyn of the clan Cooper at university, Veronica of the clan Campbell on the track and Portia in politics. No longer can a Prime Minister measure progress by how much of us a man can have; no longer can a politician ask man if they are seeing their period without getting at least an evil eye from the boss of all bosses.
And the private sector would be well advised to keep any derision just that, private.
Fo lo, Portia embraced the people and the people embraced her back. Selah.
Melville Cooke is a freelance writer.
