Hartley Neita
ONE OF the things I have been told over the years is that cricket is a gentleman's game.
Recently, however, I have discovered that in addition, cricket was invented by dirty old men.
How else can you account for the very sexy images of this sport? Words such as slips, maiden, score and leg spin, are prominent in cricket's dictionary.
BREAK DUCKS
In cricket we speak about six balls in an over (note the word balls)).
And a batsman scores so many runs from so many balls and that becomes a mark in his record. Batsmen break their ducks when they score their first run.
And when a bowler bowls six balls without a run being scored, it is described as a maiden over.
In other words, the batsman has been unable to score. And if the bowler takes a wicket, or more in an over without a run being scored he has bowled a maiden wicket.
Then you have the times when the bowler tosses the ball on the off side.
The batsman moves his back foot towards his wicket and with what is described as a late cut, hits and places the ball between the slips and scores.
Another way of scoring is by sliding the ball on the leg slide in what is called a leg glide.
Then you have the case where the ball hits the batsman's pads and if in the opinion of the umpire the ball would have hit the wicket had it not been blocked, he is judged leg before wicket.
And that decision is made known by the umpire 'giving the finger'.
Then, there is the 'no ball' , which is when. the bowler over-reaches himself by trying to take advantage of the batsman.
And there is the 'googly' which is when the bowler fools the batsman with his action and breaks the ball in the opposite direction.
If cricket had been invented by women, there would be no slips. Instead it would have been merinos, drawers or briefs.
There would not have been a leg spin, but rather left turns or right turns. Women would not break their ducks when they score their first run.
There would be no such names as maiden, maiden over or maiden wicket. And umpires would give thumbs down signals instead of the fore-finger-up sign when giving out the batswomen.
SEX AND SPORTS
I suppose that all forms of sport evoke images of sex in varying degrees.
Lawn and table tennis, and badminton use the word love, but not in a sexist manner.
Jockeys, however, give their mounts the stick as they approach the winning post.
Footballers score goals by shooting the ball in the pigeon or rat holes. Cyclists stand up and pump their way to the winning line.
Maybe,, it is this relationship between sex and sports why we enjoy playing or watching these games.
