Keisha Shakepeare, Staff Reporter
EVERYONE FACES rejection at some point. Whether it was from a friend, spouse, children or parents it makes no difference.
And, surprisingly, someone you hardly know can reject you.
Rejection according to the Oxford dictionary is the action or process of rejecting a thing or person. It explains the word reject to mean:
turn down for some purpose; put aside or throw away as useless or worthless.
Rejection, whether by a loved one or a stranger, is the same thing, it means you have been thrown away by a person from whom you expected sympathy, friendship, or help. And when other human beings tell you with their words or actions that you are not worth their time, it hurts.
EMOTIONAL MATURITY
Clinical sex therapist, Dr. Sidney McGill said that depends on the emotional maturity of the individual. He noted that if the person's self-esteem is low then the rejection is could be traumatic. He/she may see him/herself as worthless or may want to commit suicide.
He said who you are rejected by plays a major role in the amount of trauma. If the rejection is by a stranger and you have a high self-esteem then it will be like nothing. However, if the rejected has a low self-esteem then he or she may have sleepless nights. And if the rejection was verbal then it can make you feel small [less of a person]. But it all depends on your self-esteem. Rejection is more severe when it happens to children because they have not yet matured emotionally. And the experience could be devastating, especially affecting their self-esteem and sexuality, in terms of how they start, maintain and end a relationship.
Dr. McGill said that disrespect is also a form of rejection.
But it depends on the level of disrespect. He added that real disrespect is when you do
not acknowledge a person's presence.
Effects of Rejection
He noted that as a result of rejection there are several behaviours that can be formed:
ANGER:
Person will lash out in rage but it depends on the level of self-esteem. The person who is rejected may find ways to hurt the rejecter. And sometimes the anger may even be directed inwards (at one's self), the person does not deal with the situation then ends up being depressed.
FEAR:
The rejected may be fearful of taking risk in another relationship. He or she may develop phobias such as social fears and personality disorders, especially if the rejection was profound in childhood.
GUILT:
The rejected may start to question what did I do or say wrong?
CONFUSION:
The person doesn't know what to think. He or she may develop anxiety disorders, especially if rejecter was very close to him or her.
DEPRESSION:
The rejected becomes depressed and sad, especially when the person is very close to the rejected, or if he or she had certain expectations.
LACK OF SEXUAL PERFORMANCE:
For rejected women they may develop inhibited orgasms or low sexual drives. For men who have been rejected they may develop retarded ejaculation or rapid ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.
