EULALEE THOMPSPN
We all have different personality characteristics as a result of our different life experiences. We take these traits, some of them dysfunctional, into our love relationships. In this article, we look at some of the personality types that men and women take into relationships. Do this exercise with your partner. Be honest with each other as you identify each other's annoying personality characteristics.
What type of husband are you?
Abusive Andrew: He is verbally abusive. He is always cursing his spouse and putting her down. Sometimes, he may even become physically abusive. He never seems to accept responsibility for his actions and will always attribute his behaviour to something she does. This pattern of behaviour may get worse when he drinks alcohol.
Emotionless Eric: He works very hard. He spends a lot of time at the office and has very little time for the family. He may be a very religious man. He does not show any emotions to his spouse or his children. He comes across as being cold and uncaring.
Fathering Frederick: He is an older man in a relationship with a much younger woman. He treats his spouse more like a daughter than a wife. He can't help but play the fathering role. He is controlling, domineering, suspicious, smothering and/or overprotective.
Jealous John: He is very jealous and controlling. He criticises all his partners relationships. None of her friends are ever good enough for him. He does not allow her to have any relationships with her family or friends. As a result, he isolates her from everyone.
Mummy's Mervin: He has always been his mother's boy. His mother still controls him and he pays more attention to his mother than to his spouse. He allows his mother to interfere in his family life. As a result, his spouse feels stifled in the relationship.
Selfish Sam: Sam is caught up with himself. He must always be the centre of attention. He spends a lot of time at the gym. He does very little at home and expects everything to be done for him. He will never do the laundry, dishes or any work around the home.
Wild William: William has many women. He has mastered the art of hiding his affairs. Even when caught, he will deny having an outside relationship. He has very little regard for how his behaviour may be affecting his partner. He feels that as long as he provides for her, she should not complain about his relationships. Whenever she confronts him he accuses her of being jealous and nagging.
Please send your feedback to eulalee.thompson@gleanerjm.com.
What type of wife are you?
WENDEL ABEL
Accepting Abigail: You are the type who accepts everything your partner says. You seem to have no opinion. You are always passive and submissive. You may be aware of the many shortcomings of your partner such as drinking problems, womanising, putting you down , but you always overlook them.
Bickering Bernice: She is never satisfied. Always complaining. She is always nagging and finding fault. He never seems to do anything that is right or that pleases you. You have a tendency to compare him with others.
Controlling Constance: She watches her man like a hawk. She calls him 10 times a day to check on him. She searches his wallets and cell phones and is unhappy if she is not in charge.
Doubting Dorothy: She has a low self-esteem and feels like she's not good enough for her partner. She feels that he is 'the catch' of a lifetime, doubts her abilities to match up to him and may over-compensate, showering him with an overkill of love and attention.
Punishing Polly: She finds it difficult to forgive and forget. Past 'wrongs' by her partner are constantly brought up in subsequent arguments. She is a master at withholding love and affection when she feels wronged by her mate.
Suffering Susan: She likes a pity party. She always puts herself last. Whenever the meal is prepared she is happy to have the scrapings and give her man the chicken breast and leg. She is always playing the victim role.
Dr. Wendel Abel is a consultant psychiatrist and senior lecturer, University of the West Indies; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com.
