Keisha Shakespeare, Staff Reporter
THE JOURNEY from Kingston to May Pen is quite similar to the experience of the song "Two White Girls on a Mini-Bus" in the song written by Althea and Donna, except I am not white.
On any trip to the rural parts of Jamaica by mini bus, you have to be mentally prepared for the roller coaster ride. On arrival at the bus stop downtown Kingston to take the bus, you are bombarded by men rushing from all corners. All you can hear are touts (men who load the buses), shouting "May Pen, Sav, Mandeville," or "Ochi?" Some will try to take your bag while others hang on to your arms trying to drag you off to their bus. Alas, all I can do is shout out in a most unbecoming manner, "Let me go!" and proceed on my way.
LONG WAIT
By the time you settle comfortably, you have to wait at least another hour before it is ready to leave. So passengers pass the time by eating and drinking box lunches, patties, bag juice, banana chips, box drink, or just about anything. If you have nothing to eat, then it is a guarantee that many sellers will come and shove their products literally in your face with entreaties to purchase something from them. Telling them you do not want anything is pointless, they keep on coming back until the bus leaves.
AGGRESSIVE PASSANGERS
While waiting for the bus to be 'loaded', the passengers become irritable and aggressive. Some mumble, "Mi ca'an bother with dis yah 'ductor (conductor) yu nuh, whey him nuh come send off the bus." You will also be aggravated, as you are sure to have a headache from the constant nagging of the passengers and the loud music blasting from every speaker box. And, it is even more aggravating when the conductor decides the bus will not leave until passengers are seated five in each row.
Finally, we are on our way after being crammed to the maximum. You feel as if you're about to start having poor circulation because there is not enough breathing space. Just when you begin to feel content your worry begins. The driver starts overtaking everything in his path and going at rocket speed. Highway 2000 becomes an open invitation to pick up a speed of at least 130 to 140 kilometres per hour. The tyres of the bus wheels lift slightly off the road and for a second you will feel as if you're in an aeroplane that is about to take off.
As your life flashes before your eyes, all you can do is say a prayer. There is no point telling the driver to slow down because all he will do is curse you or simply ignore you. To make matters worse, passengers sitting beside you start to tell you their life stories. Others fall asleep and hang across your body. And if you're sitting in the front seat in the middle beside the driver, someone will try to 'lyrics' (make passes at) you. Though you tell them you're not interested, they just continue.
All you can do is look forward to reaching your destination. Despite your fears of a bad accident, within 50 minutes, you arrive in May Pen and it's the most glorious feeling. You leave behind all the madness that came with the eventful ride.
