MEN HAVE their own biological clocks. When they're ready, they head down the aisle - not a moment sooner. In the meantime, it's not possible to convince a commitment-phobic guy that you're the best thing that will ever happen to him, even if you are!
Here are four hints that a man has present-day potential to become a mate for life:
His oat-sowing days are over
According to John Malloy, author of Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others, which details the results of a survey of 2,500 men, the singles scene no longer appeals to a man who is ready to marry. Malloy interviewed men from ages 17 to 70 who were about to marry; all admitted they felt increasingly out of place in the bars, pool halls and dance clubs that were once their favourite hang-outs.
Writer Tyrone Reid said one of the early indicators that he was ready for marriage was the fact that, "I did not want to leave my wife's presence. Every time the hour came for me to go home or bring her home it was as if I was giving up a piece of me. It was literally a hard thing to do.
"But most importantly, prayer and direction from God were what really sealed the issue. We asked in prayer if we were meant for each other and then if the time was right. God said yes to both of us individually in different ways and the rest is history."
He's financially independent
Tina Tessina, Ph.D., a California psychotherapist, explains, "Men do have a biological clock, but their timing is different from women. Most men's priorities tend to be focused on winning financial security before having a family. If he's still struggling to pay his bills, he's not going to want to add the burden of supporting a wife."
He's discovered his desire to be a dad
Carol Morgan, a Boca Raton matchmaker (www.carolmorgan.com), observes, "He's ready for marriage when he stares longingly at kids and suggests you would have beautiful children." If your man isn't as straightforward, take a cue from John Malloy, who says, "Most men want to be young enough to teach their sons to fish and play ball and do the male-bonding thing." His research has found that age can have a great effect on a man's attitude toward marriage. Most college-educated men don't consider marriage as a serious possibility until age 26. In fact, they enter a phase of high commitment between the ages of 28 and 33. Men who've gone on to graduate school - doctors, lawyers, etc. - hit their commitment-peak phase during ages 30 to 36.
He's your boyfriend in name, your husband in spirit
April Masini, author of Date Out of Your League, explains, "When a man is ready to become a husband - your husband - he starts acting like a husband. For instance, he will make plans for the future, introduce you to his friends and family, and not only call you daily but want to tell you the details of his day and have a desire to hear about yours."
And in the case of recently-married management information specialist, Shaunavon Blackmore, the acid test was when he became ill during courtship and his girlfriend (now wife), took care of him. "If you want to know how much a woman loves a man, observe her attitude when you are ill. If she becomes unwilling, then for sure you are setting yourself into danger zone.
"Relationships work best if communication is effective and that was a plus for our relationship. This results in honesty, kindness, openness and unity. With these ingredients I knew we could finally get married."
FUTURE
If you're not sure about your guy's intentions, take notice of the way he acts and, more importantly, the way he talks about your future. If he's making promises but hasn't delivered in a reasonable amount of time, or if he objects to any talk about your future at all, his prospects for becoming a groom are probably pretty grim.
- Adapted from Internet article
