DEAR COUNSELLOR:

IN RECENT times I have noticed that I am having sexual difficulties. I have been to the doctor who prescribed some medication. I would like to understand the issues around my sexual difficulties.

- Mark

DEAR MARK:

Sexual difficulties are common problems, especially as men and women are called on to perform in the bedroom. There are medical reasons for some sexual problems, as well as psychological reasons. One needs to seek the help of a doctor to try and sort out the problems. A detailed sexual history is taken bearing in mind issues like medication that are being taken and the presence of medical disorders. Some people are shy about discussing their sexual problems with a doctor. The medical assessment is done in private and it's a confidential matter between patient and doctor. There are a variety of medications used in treating sexual disorders.

The other component of the assessment is the psychological one. One needs to look at personality, attitude, communication and culture. Cultural influences impact on sexual functioning and these include the myths and tales. These days there is an abundance of information about sexual disorders and one wonders if we are oversupplied. In the psychological evaluation, one needs to rule out depression and anxiety. Depression and anxiety can impair sexual performance. People have their own ideas about what will enhance sexual performance and what activities to get involved in.

These days there are specialists in the area of sexuality and sexual behaviours. Individuals should seek help to deal with their sexual health. Many of our ideas about sex were gathered in our childhood and some people have inhibitions about certain issues. Counselling will help with many of these issues.

DEAR COUNSELLOR:

I WAS diagnosed with cancer five years ago. I have been treated for the condition. I, however, get worried about possible recurrence or new cancers in other parts of my body.

-Lola

DEAR LOLA:

Being diagnosed with cancer can be a real nightmare with devastating effects. There are many different cancers with a diversity of treatment. There is a psychological aspect to cancer as people have to deal with this life-threatening illness. People need to be supported in this challenging situation as they come face to face with their own mortality. They usually have to cope with adjusting to a serious illness. Some people are fortunate to have a cancer for which there is a cure. Others have to struggle with medication changes, office visits and trying to function in a normal way. The adjustments that have to be made cause individuals to seek help from many different people. Emotional and financial support are vital in the care of cancer survivors. Individuals get depressed and/or anxious about their health. Sometimes people have to be treated for their anxieties and depressive episodes.

There is also a sense of loss and grief when an individual is diagnosed with cancer. They have to be counselled about the loss and help to cope with the illness. Individuals should not see the diagnosis of cancer as a death sentence as there are an abundance of treatments.

The quality of life of an individual is important. The lifestyle of people needs to be healthy and safe. Some people become negative and pessimistic about their future and have to be counselled. They have fears, guilt and anger. There is also denial, hopelessness, emotional shock and feeling overwhelmed.

There are support groups and organisations that try to empowered people who are diagnosed with cancer.