THE EDITOR, Sir:
SEVERAL ARTICLES in your paper over the past few weeks have triggered some ideas which I would like to share through this medium. There is a myriad of reasons why we have grown men and prepubescent and adolescent girls involved in one sexual relation or another. These reasons range from social and cultural traditions and practices based on a combination of myths and lies, greed and needs, to our failure to establish a framework within which we can educate our children about the joys, consequences and relational issues associated with sex.
There are myths expressed in, for example, the belief that a grown man with a venereal disease will be cured if he has sex with a virgin; this myth by the way is found in many countries on the African continent. This is a myth that we probably have not done enough to discredit through any concerted efforts. Then there is a deep-seated belief held by a number of men that he must be the first to have sex with his woman; he must be the first to 'pick the cherry'.
SOLD INTO THE SITUATION
For years we have known that many of our young girls who have been engaging in illicit sex, have done so because they were 'given to a man' or sold into this situation by their mothers or guardians so that they could earn some lunch money, school fees or grocery money for the family. In more recent times, we have also heard that our girls are preyed upon by dons in some communities and that much of this is condoned by the mothers of these girls. We are wondering why there has been no national outcry about this, few words of condemnation? May I suggest that this is so because too many of us, men and women, have been accomplices to the deed and perhaps we have just not reached the 'tipping point'? Some of our adolescent girls have now learnt that they can earn a living, as well as a name, an education and status among their peers, if they are with a 'big man'.
DISCOMFORT AMONG TEACHERS
The sex education programme offered in some of our schools to some of our students covers a wide range of issues on paper. However, there is much anxiety and discomfort among some members of staff who are expected to teach this programme; this is so because some teachers have not found the language with which to respond to explicit questions about sex, while others may have had personal experiences of a sexual nature that they have not yet resolved. I know of a school where only married women were allowed to teach sex education, and some could not handle it!
We need to teach children that sex is not the same as love; many of our young girls are really after love and affection; we need to develop in our boys and girls a better understanding of what it means to relate and to be in a relationship.
Our sex education programme must contain teaching about the affective domain, and should not shy away from dealing with the feelings and emotions associated with sex, (for some awesome and wonderful, for others despicable and dirty) as well as the possible consequences over one's lifetime.
I am, etc.,
ELAINE FOSTER-ALLEN
Principal
Shortwood Teachers' College
Via Go-Jamaica
