Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson
Dear Counsellor:
I was pregnant and lost my baby at seven months. Since then I have been unhappy and tearful. I often wonder about what would have caused the loss of the pregnancy. I am very depressed.
-Michelle
Dear Michelle:
It is usual for a woman to be depressed after the loss of a pregnancy. Pregnancy has great significance for some women. Women usually bond with their unborn child, especially after they feel the movements of the fetus. Sometimes women blame themselves for the loss. Many times the loss of the pregnancy doesn't have anything to do with the actions of the mother.
Sometimes you will think of what would have been, if the child had been born. Some women want girls to dress in ribbons and colourful dresses. Other women want boys to play sports with them such as cricket or football.
Mourning the loss of an unborn child is difficult and painful. It is good if you could see a therapist to discuss the many different issues. In bereavement one has several phases of recovery that can coexist together. There are the phases of anger, depression, denial and acceptance. Grief
usually extends over an entire lifetime of an individual, but after a while it becomes a part of your life experiences. Some people become tearful or sad on the anniversary of the death. This is called the anniversary reaction.
If you are very depressed and is unable to function properly then you should see your doctor who will prescribe an antidepressant for you. It is good to speak with your girlfriends and church brethrens about your experience. We all need a support system to help us cope with life's challenges. You should feel free to talk about your expectations and dreams and bemoan your fate.
Death or loss of a dream is a painful experience, but one that we can live with.
Attention deficit
Dear Counsellor:
My son is hyperactive and the doctor has diagnosed him with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and a learning
disability. He is doing poorly in school and is like a robot at home. He is always on the go and doesn't finish a task. He has a temper problem and gets upset easily. He has been placed in a special class at school. I am concerned that he will be behind his peers and have difficulty in
reading. He doesn't read fluently and learns rather slowly. He is however very willing and is very loveable. The doctor has recommended medication but I am very wary about this.
-Sonia
Dear Sonia:
Hyperactivity Disorder [ADHD] is a common developmental disorder which affects boys more than girls. From my experience it is a problem among the children in Jamaica. It usually presents in the 5-9 age group and is picked up readily by teachers. Boys like to play and be interactive in their games. In the classroom children are required to be seated to give individual attention to the teacher and to concentrate on the task at hand. Children who have ADHD are unable to do these things. Many children, as a result of this inability to pay attention have difficulty in learning.
Children with ADHD usually require special tutoring and
medication. The medication is usually a psycho stimulant which enhances attention, concentration and immobility. When children take the psycho stimulants they are able to remain in their chairs for a longer period of time and listen to the instructions of the teacher. I recommend that you give your son the medication. This will allow him to learn better and get higher grades in the classroom. Children like to get good grades as they feel good about themselves and their self-esteem soars. Failure at school is associated with depression and aggression. As boys get older their aggression becomes worse and soon they may become criminals such as murders, rapists or robbers, if this is not brought under control. As a general rule I would encourage parents to get their children assessed and treated.
Dr. Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson; El Shaddai Medical Centre; 9274824; yvonniebd@hotmail.com
