Dear Counsellor:

I read your articles weekly and I have found them very informative and helpful. A lot of time people are not knowledgeable about certain issues and are not able to make informed decisions. I sometimes cut out the articles and share it with a friend. I am interested in your ideas about couples and their relationships.

- Miss Brown

Dear Miss Brown:

I am glad that you find my articles informative and helpful. It means that my objectives have been achieved. Couples are the backbone of society and from this union springs the next generation. Little children talk about having girlfriends and boyfriends while adolescents and young adults enter into relationships with a passion. It is one of the tasks of a young adult to seek a life mate. Therefore young adults are on the look out for a compatible mate to build a life together.

Each individual entering into a relationship should have an idea of what they are going to contribute to the relationship, their plans and their goals. Individuals should be compatible and remember that what you are looking for in that mate is a potential husband or wife.

Friendship is important and this should be fostered and nurtured. Friends should be aware of each other's needs and be sympathetic and sensitive to each other's issues. Loyalty and respect are two important factors in a relationship. Attention and love is vital to nourish a relationship. Couples need to nurture each other and strive to grow with each other.

Couples should dream together and take trips to foreign lands. Romance is alive and well with lots of humour and laughter. Learning to agree to disagree will go a long way to keep the relationship alive. Guidance and counselling is needed in all relationship.

Dear Counsellor:

I have a baby aged six weeks old and I am having great difficulty adjusting to motherhood. I am not able to get any sleep and I am suffering from exhaustion and anxiety. I wonder how new mothers cope with an infant and still maintain their sanity.

- Sonia

Dear Sonia:

Having a baby is a life changing experience for a woman and a man. Many women want to be mothers, but get dissatisfied with the reality of their situation. The breastfeeding, the sleepless nights, the crying infant and the exhaustion will demoralize any female.

Females need their support system. Friends and relatives are a blessing at these times. They can help to hold the baby, walk the baby and feed the baby. While your allies are helping with the baby then you can get some much-needed rest. During your pregnancy you should negotiate with relatives and friends to help with the infant during childhood.

You will always need the help of your support system. You need to be able to ventilate to your friends about your feelings on motherhood. Some women get disappointed because they do not feel motherly in the initial weeks. Some women get angry because of their chaotic and disorganised lifestyle. It would be good to form a support group with other new mothers. With a support group you will get to ventilate, to exchange stories and get advice.

Getting a nanny is helpful as well as sending an infant to a nursery when he is older. Mothers have to have some time to themselves to replenish their energy. A happy mother makes a happy baby. Mothers need to attend to their grooming as well as diet and exercise so that their health do not deteriorate. Motherhood is glorified and praised, but it requires patience and perseverance, as well as, creativity and resilience.