Photo by Andrew Smith/Photography Editor
Your responses to our Push my Button questions have been many, no less so in this case, debating the moot:
Can a wife be raped by her husband?
They varied, from the touching experience of one woman who was battered and then raped by her husband to the man who is emphatic that her body belongs to him, signed when she took the wedding vow and endorsed by the Bible. In today's Outlook, we present some of your views on this page and on Pages 3 and 16. Next week we will publish more.
My husband raped me
Take it from me that the answer to that
question is YES.
I was a young wife and we were definitely having problems. He was so jealous and controlling that if I go shopping and he thinks that I am taking too long he would be out there looking for me, and believe me there would be an argument and if that wasn't enough, he would hit me.
The night in question, I went to bed positively exhausted from looking after three children, a home and a husband. I said no to him and that was a mistake on my part. My husband decided that I had no right to say NO to him so he grabbed, punched, threatened me, tore my clothes off and after the wind was knocked out of me, he raped me.
When it was over, I got up, went to the bathroom and scrubbed myself until my skin was burning. I stopped crying and calmly I said to him, "If you ever touch me again as long as I live, I will kill you."
By the way he looked at me, he knew that I meant it and that was it until we separated about a year later. I was living in England at the time and the law changed in the wife's favour about two years later, with stipulations of course.
Thank you for listening because it still hurts emotionally.
- Carmen Green
It is possible
I believe that it is possible. The vital point about rape is that it involves the absence of consent. That absence is equally crucial whether the woman believes that the man she is having sexual intercourse with is her husband or another.
A woman can be raped by her husband according to the Sexual Offences Amendment Act of 1976. A section of this act states that: A man commits rape if he has unlawful sexual intercourse with a woman who at the time of the intercourse does not consent to it.
The phase 'unlawful sexual intercourse' has meant in the past, that the offence could not be committed by a husband upon his wife. It would seem that through marriage, a woman gave her irrevocable consent to sexual intercourse with her husband. The status of women has changed. Marriage in these times is regarded as a partnership of equals, and no longer one in which the wife must be the subservient chattel of the husband.
Marital rape could, and can, occur in the following circumstances. Firstly, there is a non-cohabitation order by the court.
Second, a non-molestation undertaking by a husband (for example, in domestic violence proceedings).
Third and last, there is a formal separation agreement.
- Phillip-Jay Carter
Wives must obey!
In every marriage, God gives the woman to the man to be his submissive helper, faithful sexual partner, lifetime wife and mother of his children. She is to be an asset to him all the days of her life so that he will be satisfied with her and never be interested in another woman.
Because God holds every woman responsible for keeping her own husband pure (1 Cor.7.2), she must never defraud him of his conjugal rights.
Just as Jesus told Peter (John 21.22) to obey Him ('You follow Me') and to mind his own business, so it is with wives. We are to mind our own business when it comes to what is said to husbands.
We are called upon to do one thin: To obey what Christ says to wives. We are never to be concerned about whether our husband is or is not carrying out his role as we perceive it. He is answerable to the Master, not to his wife. It is a serious sin for a wife to 'punish' her husband by defrauding him of what belongs to him - her body.
God created him with sexual needs and, to avoid sexual sin. God provided him with his own wife. So if her refusals and his lack of control drive him to adultery, I doubt God would hold either guiltless.
- N.A. JONES
