LEFT: Ninja Man says he has found true love, which keeps him off cocaine. RIGHT: Craig 'Leftside' Parkes (left), now a father, says one day his son will understand, just as he did with his father Lloyd Parkes' (right) rehearsals and performances.

Kavelle Anglin-Christie, Staff Reporter

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
- John Barrymore (1882 - 1942)

The average Joe complains that true love is hard to find, but at least when he finds it, he can rest assured it's not for his '89 Camry.

Entertainers don't have it easy. In between dodging the stalkers and partners looking for a quick buck, it's often hard to sift through the proverbial haystack to find true love.

Ninja Man is known for his outlandish costumes, but most recently, because he fell in love with his ex-girlfriend's sister, Wendy Brown. The two are now engaged and Ninja Man says he has not regretted a moment of the relationship because Wendy is his soulmate.

"I love every single thing about her. Everything she does makes my day... If Wendy is not my soulmate then nobody out there nuh have no soulmate," he said.

"When me think of Wendy me just think of happiness. The greatest relationship that I've been in is this one. We never have any intention to start, we just grew to love each other... Even sometimes with the stress and strain we try and run away from it, but you just have to fight it. Being with her show me how man really supposed to act. When she get upset me just go and hug and kiss her, because a that she do wid me when me upset. She just always know what to do to calm me down," he says.

Ninja Man openly spoke of his previous drug addiction, and said it took Wendy's love to help him realise his worth.

"Ah months now me nuh smoke coke. It takes someone who cares and concerned fi mek me start look pon meself and want change ... Why me did start is if any problem come up a me people turn to and Ninja Man a bad man so him shouldn't feel nothing, so me just never have nobody fi talk to. So all the stress was on the pipe. This woman show me how to deal with the problems, how to love, care and have self respect," he said.

Ninja Man, whose correct name is Desmond Ballentine, has been an entertainer for most of his life and, like many others, says he was flanked by women simply because of his status.

Glamour and the fame

"To tell you the truth, as a popular person you have to know wha yuh a do. Dem will just see you and then fall fi the star wha dem see. Them just see the glamour and the fame and the fortune, but them don't see the person. When them see me, them more think of Ninja Man and not Desmond. One of the most easy love to get is the one that's a fantasy. Them just see you and fantasise about you and dem don't know you. Love is hard to find," he said, pausing every now and then as if reflecting on past struggles.

Ninja Man says he intends to marry Wendy soon, but it will not be a public affair.

"Me a married innah foreign. As fi the date, me naw tell nobody that again because all of a sudden yuh see people a fly from all over come a Jamaica wid dem bag a money and all sort of something. None a dem never see when me need someone fi stand up beside me and be strong," he said in a matter-of-fact manner.

Mr. Lexx has been married to his wife Tossan, a model, for over four years, though they were briefly separated. He says trying to maintain a marriage when famous is a factor which takes extra work because "of the social stigma of being an artiste. They will just assume that you have a bag of woman".

Still, he says he would never trade places with Joe Ordinary.

"No way! I live to be famous. I'd never change my career for anything. This is what I've always wanted to do since I was a child. What we'd have to do is find a compromise, because this is what made me who I am," he said.

Vegas says he intends to get married and doesn't think he will lose fans because "I will be older with a more mature audience who won't even care". For now, he has to contend with the problems that come with relationships and dating. "It's just always being on the road and the jealousy. You can't neglect the fan base and women get jealous, so certain shows I don't let my woman come to. That's because of how the female fans behave and that sort of thing," he said.

Craig 'Leftside' Parkes is a second generation musician and now a father. "I grew up being around music and when I was with (my father, Lloyd Parkes) it was mostly rehearsing at the studio. It wasn't like a going to the park to get ice cream, it was always about the music with us," he said.

He says while he was in high school, their time became more limited - his father travelled, he had to concentrate on school. Now he has assumed his father's role and his son will one day understand just as he did years ago, but with a twist.

"It's pretty complicated now. My baby mother and I are not in a relationship, so it's not like when I'm done working and I'm ready to go home they are there waiting for me. So I basically have to see him when I have time," Leftside said.

However, he has a partner who is understanding. "I wouldn't say it's easy or hard, but if you're with someone who won't understand what you require it's hard, but if you have someone who is down with the cause then there really aren't any problems. Right now I'm seeing someone who understands. I've known the person for years and it's someone who knows how I operate. She knows that when I go to shows I'm there to entertain a lot of people and that's it," he said.

Leftside says it is in an entertainer's best interest to keep his private life just that.

Statistic

"I don't like to be a statistic and right now she likes the fact that we keep it like that. With me being out there, that's good enough for her. It's not good to show the public your weaknesses, so to speak, so there are certain places that I would never take my son. I will take him to the barber shop and places like that and it's the same way with my girlfriend. When people see who you love they may try and target you for the wrong reasons. So it's not good to have your personal life out there," he said.

Singer Ken Boothe has been a public figure since the heyday of rocksteady, but that hasn't stopped him from loving his wife, Joan.

"Anywhere I go my wife travels with me. Apart from being a mate, she is an assistant... We are not perfect people and people need to know that... Me and my wife deh together from we a youth and we married 10 years ago. We love each other and quarrel just like everyone else, but we have a bond. I feel that a man without a family is not a complete man. It is nice to have a family, I think," he said.

An ordinary marriage takes work, so what about one where a partner is constantly travelling and working?

"It was always easy between me and her, because the main thing to me is the love between me and my wife. I respect women because of my wife, " he said.

It also seems that Boothe's fans weren't troubled by his marriage. Some may therefore argue that Vegas' 'I have matured and so will my fans' argument is valid.

Still Boothe says "I don't think that's what a fan is about. Sure, some of them might admire you sexually, but I think the topic is always music. They should know that I'm here to inspire them a certain way and that's it. I'm here to sing for people and I've been doing that since I was a child."

Cousellor Rev. Gary Harriott spoke of the the difficulties that entertainers' families face.

"Sometimes because they are too in the spotlight, they are robbed of the opportunities to be themselves. They always have to be representing (the artiste) in the public eye and sometimes they suffer," he said.

Rev. Harriott also says, "sometimes the quality of time that they need to spend with the family is severely reduced.

As far as an intimate relationship goes, it will take time to nurture the relationship with each other and if that is taken away then you could grow apart and not know what's happening in each other's lives. Then straying might occur, because the other partner will go elsewhere to find intimacy and children could become involved in negative company because all of them are longing for your attention."

"They need to know that managing their time is key, in terms of making time for family and intimate relationships... In the long run, after your career has come to an end, it's your family that you will still have.

Imagine if you were to retire and you don't have a family, there is the feeling of being isolated... You need a family to help you cope with the challenges that you face outside. The family is basically a place of refuge and the home is where you can resuscitate yourself and not be a professional, but your core self with no pretences," he said.