Melville Cooke

With various interests in the United States salivating over the recent transfer of power from Cuba's president, Fidel Alejandro Castro Ruz, to his brother as he recovered from intestinal surgery just ahead of his 80th birthday, I thought I would point out how the scoresheet of dead presidents reads.

For while the obsessed (and I believe at least slightly demented) in the U.S. who see a fabricated world only through television lenses (one way, to boot) have salivated over the thought of Castro dying since he overthrew Uncle Sam's stooge Fulgencio Batista in January 1959, they seem to not have thought that, just maybe, they have been totting up a few dead presidents themselves.

First there was Dwight Eisenhower, the first president Castro encountered and who left office in 1961. He died in March 1969. Then there was John Kennedy, who became U.S. president in 1961 and oversaw the failed Bay of Pigs invasion in that same year which was supposed to overthrow Castro, as well as the famed Cuban missile crisis of 1962. He was killed by a bullet to the head in March 1963; the assassin or assassins (Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested and then in turn killed by Jack Ruby) proved better at their jobs than the CIA, which has failed to kill Castro by such wonderful plots as exploding cigars.

Castro still standing

Lyndon Johnson was president of the U.S. from 1963 to 1969, then in January 1973 his heart got up and attacked him at his ranch in Texas. Three down, Castro still standing.

Richard Nixon, the outstanding liar of the Watergate scandal, was president from 1969-1974, resigning before certain impeachment (much like certain U.S. sprinters who have a meteoric rise, a very short career and then retire early). Nixon died in April 1994. Four down. Then there is Ronald Reagan (1981-1989) who died in 2004. Five down.

The remaining four U.S. presidents whose term in office Fidel Castro has outlasted, Gerald Ford (1974-1977), Jimmy Carter (1977-1981, who enjoys the respect of Castro), Bush the elder (1989-1993), William Clinton (1993-2001, he who blew the saxophone and stained the dress), are still alive, but they have all come, seen the bearded one, rattled their coffers and hardware, stars and stripes, and gone their way.

The incumbent, Bush the dumbest (he must be; there can't be another person in the family who would do something sillier than wave to Stevie Wonder, as the Washington Post reported in 2002), elected by thievery in 2001 and subsequently re-elected by terrorising the electorate about terrorism, is slated to leave office by 2009.

Good score sheet, Castro

Castro may or may not be alive at that time, but if he is that would make double figures of dead Presidents he has outlasted and, if he quits at nine, with four dead, that is a darned good scoresheet.

I must point out that it is not only U.S. presidents that Castro has outlasted. On the friendlier side he has outlived an entire empire, as the USSR collapsed in 1991. In fact, he was born in 1926, only four years after it was officially created in 1922.

Nikita Krushchyov (the English speakers spell it Krushchev), the first USSR leader Castro encountered, died in 1973. His successor, Lenoid Brezhnev, died in 1982, while Yuri Andropov, who followed Brezhnev, died only two years after his predecessor in 1984. It seems that the USSR had a good run of dead leaders up to its own death, as Konstantin Chernenko died in 1985.

Mikhail Gorbachyov (Gorbachev), the last leader of the USSR, is still alive.

So I am amused and bemused by the revelling in Castro's illness and the prospect of his demise. A man who has lasted so long in such turbulent times and against such tremendous odds is a certified legend. And legends don't really die.

But they do have birthdays. Happy belated 80th birthday, sir.

Melville Cooke is a freelance writer.