It is important for a gentleman to assist a lady with seating at the dinner table. - Rudolph Brown/Chief Photographer

Food is delighted to introduce a new weekly feature that will explore all aspects of modern etiquette. Our expert, Mrs. Marigold Harding, appropriately kicks off the series as we get in gear for The Gleaner-sponsored Kingston Restaurant Week (KRW) next month (see pages 1 and 3 for details).

The series will explore and explain everything you wanted to know about table manners, from which fork to use first to what conversation is appropriate at the table. Mrs. Harding will also answer your questions so feel free to send us questions, on any aspect of acceptable public behaviour that you need clarified.

Mrs. Harding has formal training as a medical technologist and paralegal but has been an office administrator since 1994. A Justice of the Peace, she has done courses in interior design, etiquette and social graces, as well as horticulture and landscaping.

One of the leading horticulturists in Jamaica, she has won several local and international medals for her efforts, and recently worked alongside two other international judges at the Asian Horticultural Show in Shenyang, China, this year.

Mrs. Harding is married and has three sons and two grand-daughters.

First Impressions

You have heard the expression "first impression lasts forever." It only take a few minutes for a person to form opinions of you, and once a judgement is made it is not easily altered.

Throughout history and around the world the table has been the centre of the home and social life. The table brings people together. The table encourages socialising. Families connect, executive clinch contracts, lovers flirt and heads of state cement delicate alliances at the table.

There are certain aspects of social etiquette that everyone needs to learn. Good habits begin at home. Without etiquette (of any kind) you limit your potential, risk your image and jeopardise your success.

You might ask, what is the primary rule governing table manners? The answer is simply "consideration for others." Do you use the table manners when dining 'family style' as when dining in restaurants or on other formal and informal occasions? The answer is yes. Good table manners apply even though the environment or the setting will change. Knowing them help you to have confidence that you are behaving appropriately.

We must never assume that others will be understanding of poor manners and lack of dining skills.

This series will reveal:

The responsibilities of a host and a guest.

When to begin a meal.

How to properly use a napkin.

How to hold your flatware properly.

Where to put your hands.

Manoeuvring around difficult-to-eat foods.

When to discuss business at a business meal.

Who makes the toast and when.

How to behave when you are on a diet.

How to indicate when you are finished.

What to do with the cellular phone.

Table manners play an important part in making favourable impressions. They are visible signals of the state of your manners.

It is a good idea to practise good table manners on a daily basis at the family dining table, or even when eating alone. Table manners become second nature when used routinely and lessens any missteps whether you are dining inside or outside your home. When you do not have to worry about how you are eating you are better able to focus on people with whom you are dining.

General Dining Etiquette

The correct procedure for eating and drinking in company worries many people quite unnecessarily. Here are some procedures to remember:

Food is served from the left. Plates are cleared from the right.

For soup, dip into the soup from the edge of the bowl to the middle, moving away from you. Only fill the spoon three quarter full to avoid spilling. Sip, not slurp, from the edge of the spoon. Do not insert the whole bowl of the spoon in to your mouth.

It is proper to tip the bowl slightly away from you to get all the soup. If the soup is too hot, let it cool. Do not blow on it.

Taste your food before adding seasonings.

Do not ask to taste someone else's food. Similarly, do not offer a taste of your food to someone else.

Do not talk with your mouth full.

Cut only enough food for the next mouthful.

Never turn your glass upside down to decline wine. It might be interpreted as a sign of protest. It is more polite to let the wine be poured than to draw attention to yourself. When you are asked about wine you will not be drinking, quietly decline. A well trained waiter will remove the glass or turn the glass upside down.

Do not smoke at the table. Nowadays smoking is almost not allowed in dining rooms.

Do not ask for a 'doggy bag' of a take away bag unless it is an informal dining situation.

Chew with your mouth closed.

Practise good posture. If not eating, place your hands in your lap or rest your wrists on the edge of the table. Do not put your elbows on the table.

If hot food is burning your mouth, discreetly drink something cool to counteract the hot food.

When dining out order food that can be eaten with utensils.

Do not wave your utensils during conversation. These should be in your hand only when you are about to take the next bite, otherwise they remain on your plate.