Glenda Simms

There was a high level of excitement on the verandah of the One-Stop-Shop in the village. Miss Mattie and Maas George had been very busy organising a group of their cronies to put in place an action plan to deliver the best curry goat and mannish water event that the good folk of these mountain ridges had ever experienced.

The coming together of so many of the district people to this promised teach-in on the remaining articles of the Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) was a real credit to the organisational skills of both Miss Mattie and Maas George.

For this occasion, everyone dressed up. In fact some wore their Sunday dresses, foreign hats and new shoes, and others wore their funeral clothes. Some of the little girls wore long white and pink satin dresses and had matching white beads hanging from the intricate tiny braids that formed patterns that looked like cornrows or spider webs on their heads. Several of the young mothers had dyed their hair red and one very dark-skinned one sported a blonde wig.

A few of the old timers wore nice print blouses atop the latest 'made in India' three-sister cotton skirts.

Yuh clash

Miss Mattie decided to turn up in a red blouse, yellow skirt, a purple hat and white shoes. All eyes were on her and Maas George who was regal in a brown and white stripe shirt atop black and yellow pin-striped pants. Maas George beckoned to Miss Mattie and under his breath softly said, "Miss Mattie, yuh clash." Miss Mattie pulled herself up to her 5' 5" stature and took a good look at Maas George, starting from the rustic strapped sandals on his ancient feet, up to the baggy pants that covered his knobby knees, through his belted skinny waist and up the straight lines of his striped shirt to the apprehensive blood-shot stares that anticipated a blast from her sharp tongue.

But, today was not a day to respond to stupid remarks and nonsensical observations. Miss Mattie simply asked Maas George what right he had to comment on her choice of colours or style of clothing. She would like all the old timers on the verandah to understand that every woman over 60 has earned the privilege of wearing red hats and purple shoes and don't give a damn.

Dramatic and discordant

If Maas George wanted to really comment on styles that clash, he would have said something to the district's 'hottie-hottie' who turned up on this special occasion in a blonde wig. As far as Miss Mattie was concerned, there is no style that is as dramatic and discordant as "a black woman in a blonde wig".

At the end of this observation, Maas George assumed a 'take charge' posture and directed everyone to find a seat, get a cup of the mannish water and pay attention to Miss Mattie who would help them to turn their minds to more serious matters.

Right on cue, Miss Mattie was helped by one of the young men to take her sure-footed position on the wooden box that Maas George had designed to give Miss Mattie a platform from which to speak when she summoned the folk together for her regular teach-in and curry goat feed.

Smug in her knowledge that she was the most revered elder in the district, Miss Mattie respectfully requested that the older men should regulate and control their slurping on the mannish water and any other sounds that might emanate from their ranks. She also reminded the young mothers that screaming children should be gently removed to the child-centred area under the mango trees.

Obligations to women

Having set out the rules of engagement, Miss Mattie proceeded to reinforce the Government of Jamaica's obligations to women under the CEDAW Convention. All the young women took out their notebooks and pencils, the young men listened attentively, secure in their belief that they don't need to write because their brains function very well, and the old men who have never learnt to read hoped for a short lecture.

Miss Mattie rolled her eyes and lifted her voice a few decibels to emphasise that the Government of Jamaica under Article Six of CEDAW, is obligated to "suppress all forms of traffic in women and exploitation of prostitution of women".

Furthermore, she pointed out that Article Seven outlines the right of women not only to vote, but to "hold public office and perform all public functions at all levels of government".

At this point, Maas George took a big gulp of his cooled-down mannish water and shouted gleefully, "That, ladies and gentlemen, mean that when a woman becomes prime minister or governor-general, it is the achievement of "a human rights objective".

The 'hottie-hottie' in the blonde wig cheered loudly and acknowledged Maas George's brilliance, and everyone on the verandah said, "Amen". One 'holy-holy' sister trembled and spoke in an unknown tongue, "shalamama, shalamama".

Miss Mattie has, over time, learnt to ignore these diversionary tactics which she analyses as efforts to take people's minds off serious issues.

At this moment, she cleared her throat and addressed the issues highlighted in articles Eight and Nine of the convention. These clearly set out the right of women to represent their country and people internationally and also their fundamental right to pass on their nationality to their children.

Anti-woman

Shaking his head from side to side, Maas George wondered aloud why the so-called founding fathers and patriarchs of Church and State were so anti-woman. If they were otherwise disposed, he is convinced that they would not have violated women's human rights so openly and rigidly over centuries.

"Hold on, Maas George," said Miss Mattie. "They were not necessarily anti-woman, they were seriously pro-man." On this profound note, Miss Mattie decided to adjourn this session and promised to deal with the other articles of the convention at the next 'gungo soup session'.

Maas George welcomed the adjournment because he gets bored by heavy discussions. He jumped up and recited his favourite grace before meals: "For food, friends and fellowship, we thank thee Lord."

Maas George also went to the curry goat server and secured two plates of meat, rice, peas and succulent vegetables for Miss Mattie and himself. In the informal discussion between mouthfuls of food, everyone at the One-Stop-Shop came to the conclusion that their community is a place of energy, creativity, goodwill and honest responses to all aspects of the human condition.

It is at the level of the community that they will organise for positive change and develop the strategies to hold the Government accountable for the integrity of all human rights, including the fundamental human rights of every woman and girl.

Dr. Glenda P. Simms is a gender consultant.